An American Childhood

Dillard introduces her memories of her childhood by grounding them in the topography of Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh sits where three rivers merge, the Monongahela from the north and the Alleghany from the south joining to create the Ohio River at the point where the land begins. Thickly wooded hills and mountains surround the rivers. The city began as a fort, located on unoccupied land surveyed by a youthful George Washington in 1753. Ten more years would pass before English settlers arrived.

When Dillard is 10 years old, in 1955, her father (Frank Doak), obsessed with Mark Twain’s Life on the Mississippi, conceives of a solo trip downriver to New Orleans aboard the 24-foot cabin cruiser he keeps secretly on the Alleghany riverfront. He wants to visit New Orleans to explore the true home of the Dixieland Jazz that he loves so much. He quits his job in the family business, American Standard—a company begun by his great-grandfather 100 years before—and sells his shares in it. As he prepares for this journey, Dillard explains her father’s love for jazz, particularly the Dixieland jazz exemplified by New Orleans musicians—creators of the best jazz in America. Dillard notes that her mother met her father when he was 27 years old, living in New York City, and spending his nights in the jazz clubs.

From his window in the American Standard building in Pittsburgh, where he was a personnel manager, Frank witnessed many people jumping from a bridge to their deaths. The office had a betting pool on the date and time for the next potential jumper. About half the time, the jumper could be talked out of jumping. Dillard and her sister Amy were thrilled by his stories of these bridge jumpers, particularly the suicides.

Frank prepared for his journey to New Orleans with his wife’s encouragement, leaving her with Annie (age 10), Amy (age 7), and the baby, Molly (six months old). He worked his way down the Ohio River, past Cincinnati, reaching Louisville. By that time, the darkness of the late-September season, his loneliness for home, and his wife’s warning that people were beginning to talk about his absence, drove him to give up his dream. He sold the boat and flew home. Frank failed to achieve his vagabond dream even with his wife’s support, particularly because he was sensitive to people gossiping about him or his family. He returned home after selling his boat in Louisville.

Dillard reports that this was the age, at 10, when she was “just waking up” (10).