Class: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hunger, and Higher Education

Stephanie describes what happened at the beginning of summer. Despite Jamie’s shortcomings and abusive history, she is excited for him to take Emilia so that she can have some time to herself. Jamie calls to tell her that he cannot take Emilia for the summer; his mom would normally fly out from North Carolina to babysit, but she is unavailable. Stephanie tells him that she will need more child support money in lieu of visitation. Jamie does not think he should have to do this. He resents that Stephanie is going to college while asking for more money.

Stephanie panics because it is now too late to get Emilia into a summer camp that offers sliding scale payments. Stephanie tries to get legal support for her needed increased child support. She navigates the bureaucratic labyrinth of family law help centers. Eventually, she is told that since Jamie is in Portland, she must settle with the Oregon office, which will take at least six months.

That night, Stephanie watches Emilia do dishes and considers her relationship with her own mother. Her mom now lives in Europe with her second husband. Stephanie calls her dad to ask for financial assistance; he does not give her an answer.

Stephanie cries as she considers that they might lose their housing. At age five, Emilia has lived in 15 homes. Stephanie feels hopeless and exhausted. She considers getting a refund on her summer tuition, but then she remembers that she needs her summer class in order to register for her fall classes. She is determined to prove her friends and family wrong; everyone around her insists that a bachelor’s degree in English and a Master of Fine Arts will not guarantee financial stability for a single mother.

A friend suggests that she look to the YMCA for financial aid. She submits an emergency relief request and a sympathetic worker tells her that she can pay $25 per week for Emilia’s camps instead of $180. She is extremely relieved that her need for assistance was accepted and not judged.

Jamie finally sends a check for $400 to cover the unexpected cost of Emilia living with her. Stephanie is angry when he skips his video chat with Emilia for her birthday. Emilia will now only visit Jamie for 10 days, which Stephanie thinks is not long enough.

Stephanie’s friend Sylvie offers to drive her to Portland. She and Sylvie met at the climbing gym, where Stephanie and Emilia enjoy the sense of community. Sylvie is also a single mom, and they enjoy taking their kids camping together. When Emilia is in Portland with Jamie, Stephanie starts dating a writer named Theodore. Dating as a single mom is hard for Stephanie.

Sylvie offers to babysit so that Stephanie can go out with Theodore. Stephanie considers her last relationship with Evan. After an extended camping trip in Utah, she learned that she was pregnant. Evan paid for the abortion and then broke up with her. Stephanie goes to a concert with Theodore and has a great time. They end up at a party where they have sex. A few weeks later, Theodore breaks up with her. Emilia is heartbroken; she enjoyed spending time with Theodore. Their roommate Kelley, who often babysits Emilia, is moving out, and Emilia is sad to be losing two people at the same time.

While Emilia is with Jamie, Stephanie and Sylvie go out to bars to look for guys. Stephanie meets a guy named Daniel and they start hanging out and hooking up. He becomes her drinking and pool buddy at the bars.

Stephanie ponders the paradoxes of higher education. Her loans are sinking her further into poverty. She feels major impostor syndrome on campus, where many of her classmates are much younger than her and have their parents paying their tuition. She recalls being 15 years old and asking her dad about college; he taught her how to budget, but he could not pay for a four-year degree, so she decided not to put in effort in high school.

After moving from Seattle to Missoula, Stephanie learns that she will not qualify as a Montana resident until a year has passed. Rather than working for a year while she waits to become eligible for in-state tuition, which is one-third the cost of out-of-state tuition, Stephanie decides to enroll as an out-of-state student. She asks about childcare and government assistance on campus. She ponders how frequently the assistance programs assume that people are trying to scam them. She wonders if she will be considered part of the deserving poor.

Stephanie feels that in order to be taken seriously as a writer she needs to participate in more off-campus events. She is pleased that in a college town there is a large pool of 19-year-olds who are willing to babysit in exchange for beer. She is thankful to live in a house with several roommates so that she can go to the bars after Emilia falls asleep.

Stephanie struggles to balance homework, childcare, and working. She considers the social pressure to earn a degree and take out loans that she may never fully pay off. She contemplates how hard it is to plan for the future while bogged down by daily responsibilities.

Stephanie takes an advanced fiction workshop taught by one of her favorite professors, Debra. The class is taken by both undergraduate and MFA students and requires a public performance. Stephanie is especially struck by Debra’s line: “the stories you choose to tell are the stories that make up who you are.”

For the final presentation, Stephanie is required to talk about something she is obsessed with. Stephanie chooses to write about her childhood collection of journals, photo albums, and scrapbooks. As she reads the writing of her younger self, she realizes that she was actually obsessed with the idea of falling in love. She’s nervous about presenting such a vulnerable piece of herself to the class, but her presentation is met with applause and tears.

Debra lauds Stephanie’s essay “Confessions of the Housekeeper,” in which Stephanie describes how she learns about people based on their houses. Stephanie is pleased that her writing continues to earn praise from professors.

As she drops Emilia off, she compares herself to the other mothers. Her clothes and appearance are very different, and she is not interested in befriending any of them. She reflects that she does not have the bandwidth to offer support to anyone. Emilia is often praised as resilient, but Stephanie feels that the deserving poor are expected to show resilience.

She receives a rejection letter but is overjoyed that the editor refers to her work as impressive.