Fighting Words

Della asks Suki many questions. Suki explains that she will still see her therapist and take her medicine, but that she will go back to school and begin working at Food City again. When Della asks Suki to promise that she will never try to hurt herself again, Suki can only promise that she will try her best. Ultimately, Suki promises that she will ask for help if she feels things getting difficult again. Della still feels that this is not enough.

That night, Della asks Suki if she let Clifton hurt her so that he would not hurt Della instead. Suki insists that this is not the case. She tells Della that he abused her for the first time when she was eight or nine, right after they moved in with him, when their mother was still with them. Della reiterates that everyone would be safer if Clifton was in prison for a long time. Suki asks Della to stop pushing her.

On Friday, Francine invites her friends to the house for dinner and suggests that Suki and Della invite a friend as well. They decide to ask Teena, and Della goes with Suki to pick her up. As they drive to Teena’s house, they pass Clifton’s house, which looks abandoned. Suki leans her head against Della’s, and they sit together like that until Teena gets in the car, filling it with laughter.

Della shows Dr. Fremont a list of facts she has learned about how to get to Yellowstone National Park, including ticket prices and the distance. When she laments that it will be expensive to get there, Dr. Fremont reminds her that she only needs to take things one step at a time.

After dinner that night, Della again asks Suki to testify against Clifton. Suki tells her that she is asking for “two things at once” (224): for Suki to get better and never hurt herself again and to do something that will make her recovery more difficult. Francine pulls Della aside, reminding her to leave Suki alone and let her process things in her own time. Della states that Suki is a fighter and “a wolf” (225), and Francine reminds her that while Della may see Suki that way, Suki may not see herself that way.

Suki comes home with a tattoo of a semicolon next to her scar. She explains its meaning to Della: a reminder to herself that “[her] sentence—[her] story—it’s going to keep going on” (226). Della says that she wants the same tattoo, but Suki tells her that she is both too young and that the symbol does not mean the same thing for her as it does for Suki.

Della is surprised that Francine does not care that Suki got a tattoo and asks her why she is so relaxed about everything and so helpful. Francine explains that she wishes she had someone to help her when she was the girls’ ages.

The social worker comes to visit again and discusses Suki’s return to school, their therapy appointments, and Permanency Plans. Suki reveals that she wants to become a medical technician, and that she has a plan with her school counselor to enroll in the proper courses. When the social worker asks Della about her plan, Della states that she wants to visit Yellowstone National Park as soon as she can.

Della goes to work with Suki on Friday and peruses the store. She stops at the book section when she notices a coloring book dedicated to wolves. She brings it to Suki, asking if she can buy it with her portion of their discount. She promises to pay Suki back if it is not enough. Suki gives Della her good markers and sends her to go color. Della spends the rest of the night coloring and gives pages to Maybelline, Tony, and Suki. She colors one in an elaborate rainbow, keeping it for herself.

Della cannot help herself—she asks Suki how many times Clifton hurt her over the years. Suki responds that it was almost every week for the entire time that they lived with Clifton. Della realizes how hard it is to live in the present when the past feels like it is “walloping [them] upside [their] heads” (234).

Trevor continues to antagonize Della and her friends at school. When Trevor pinches her back during math class, Della cannot take anymore. Della rises to her feet, ready to strike, but she stops herself and does not hit Trevor. Instead, she tells him that he needs to stop touching her and every other girl in class. Ms. Davonte tells Della to sit, but she says that she will not sit until Trevor promises to stop touching her. She tells Ms. Davonte to look down her shirt to see the spot where Trevor pinched her. Ms. Davonte is about to ignore Della when Della makes eye contact with Nevaeh, who stands up and tells Ms. Davonte that Trevor pinches her, too.

Other girls in the class stand up and tell Ms. Davonte that Trevor has touched or pinched them as well. Ms. Davonte is stunned and tells Trevor to go to the principal’s office. He goes, and Ms. Davonte asks the girls how long this has been going on. She asks them why nobody has said anything up to this point. Della says, “You think you already know all the answers about me. You don’t listen” (237). Ms. Davonte apologizes, thanking the girls for standing up and speaking out. She takes Della to the office with her.

Dr. Penny calls Francine and Trevor’s mom to come in for a meeting. Della and Trevor sit in the office for an hour while they wait, and Della notes that Trevor looks visibly anxious the longer he waits, wondering “how many bad things had happened to him” (239). Francine and Trevor’s mother arrive, and they sit down with Dr. Penny to review the student handbook.

Trevor’s mother tries to dismiss his behavior: “[B]oys will be boys” (242). Trevor admits that he just wanted to be funny. He apologizes to Della, and Dr. Penny assigns him in-school suspension. Trevor and his mother leave, and Dr. Penny instructs Della to tell her immediately if Trevor or anyone else ever tries to touch her inappropriately again. She tells Della that she is proud of her, and that her using appropriate language and no violence is a sign of progress. Francine takes Della from school early, and they go get chocolate milkshakes at McDonald’s.

At home, Suki tells Della she is proud of her for how she handled the Trevor situation, especially when Della tells her that she did not use any “snow” words. The next morning, Della circles emotions at Dr. Fremont’s office: “I circled annoyed but not angry. Worried but not scared. Strong, not invisible. I circled resilient. I circled proud” (244). Dr. Fremont notes the improvement and then tells Della that she thinks she should start writing down her story, both what happened to her and what she wants to happen next.

At school, Della tells Nevaeh that the girls in class acted like a wolf pack. She says they will have to work together to make sure Trevor does not get away with touching them ever again when he comes back from suspension. Della and her friends have a swinging contest, and as she swings, she thinks about how she needs to do something big and brave, and that she finally feels able to do it.

At dinner that night, Della tells Francine that she needs to talk to her lawyer, because she is going to testify against Clifton in person rather than on video. She says that she needs to sit in front of Clifton and the court and tell everyone not only what he did to her, but to Suki as well. Suki protests, saying that it is her story to tell, but Della disagrees. She tells Suki that what happened to Suki affects her as well: “I’m going to tell them everything I know about the both of us” (248). She wants to do it even though she knows it will be difficult.

Suki tries to convince Francine to stop Della, but Francine only says, “If she’s that brave, I ain’t gonna stop her” (249). Suki gets up and goes to the bathroom, which sends a wave of anxiety over Della, who thinks she might try to hurt herself again. When Suki returns, she holds up her semicolon tattoo, reminding Della that she promised to try even when things got difficult for her. She apologizes for scaring her.

After dinner, Della works in her coloring book and Suki calls her over to her computer. She shows her a video about wolves in Yellowstone and how they helped restore equilibrium to the environment there. Suki then tells Della about a program that high school students can do where they live in Yellowstone National Park for a month and work there during the summer. Suki suggests that they can drive out there once Suki gets a car, and Della asks if they can stop and see their mother on the way. Suki shakes her head, telling Della that their mother will never be who they want her to be, but Della says she wants to see her anyway. Della asks if Suki will be mad at her for telling her story in court, and she says that she will try her best not to be, although she is still sure that it will not make a difference or that Della will be believed.

When Della wakes up in the morning she realizes that she slept through the night and Suki did not wake them up screaming from a nightmare. She wakes up Suki and tells her that Suki could testify against Clifton using video footage like Della was going to, because Suki was only a child when the abuse occurred. Suki begins to cry, saying that she never got to be a kid, and that she feels “so sorry for that scared little girl” she was (253). Suki puts her face in her pillow and sobs. Della curls up next to her, comforting her sister.

The next night, Della looks up information about Suki’s semicolon tattoo on Suki’s laptop. She learns that it is a symbol of survival and hope. Della realizes that she, too, is a survivor, and looks up a symbol that encapsulates her story.

She goes to Francine and shows her a piece of paper with an ampersand drawn on it. She explains that she wants a tattoo of an ampersand because it means “an expectation for something more to occur” (256). Francine initially resists, telling Della that she is only 10 years old and that it is a bad idea, but she finally relents. Della promises to wear a cuff bracelet at court and whenever their caseworker is around. Francine agrees to call her friend to come to the house to do the tattoo. Suki is thrilled when she arrives home from work and Della shows her the idea for their matching tattoos.

Francine’s friend comes to the house and gives both Della and Suki the ampersand tattoo on their wrists. At school, Ms. Davonte notices the tattoo and asks Della if it is real. Della proudly holds up her arm, showing off the tattoo, thinking about how she is going to testify in person and Suki is going to testify on tape. Della knows that testifying will be difficult, but she feels strong knowing that she can look down at her wrist and see the tattoo. It reminds her of her strength and that her and Suki’s stories “will be separate but always intertwined” (259). She tells Ms. Davonte that the tattoo is real, and that she got it as a reminder of the “best day of her life” (259), which will be tomorrow when she testifies in court.