How To Talk To Anyone

“Name Shower” suggests using a person’s name more frequently during phone conversations to grab attention. Overusing names can come off as manipulative in physical interactions; however, over the phone, it “commands attention and recreates the familiarity the phone robs from you” (235).

“Oh Wow, It’s You!” advises answering phone calls “warmly, crisply,” and in a “professional” manner and then smiling to oneself to make the other person feel special, as if your “giant warm fuzzy smile is reserved for him or her” (239).

The discomfort that sometimes comes with screening calls can be mitigated through “the Sneaky Screen.” Instead of questioning a caller, the receiver should promise to connect them to their target and then clarify the caller’s identity. If the caller’s target turns out to be unavailable, this approach lessens the blow.

In the professional world, it’s easy to overlook peripheral parties like a target’s spouse or secretary. However, these individuals often have a significant impact on business decisions—thus, one should “Salute the Spouse” and “Salute the Secretary.” When calling someone, it’s best to identify and greet the person who answers to be polite and prepared for future business.

Like physical interactions, phone conversations require timing. Phrases like “Is this a good time to chat?” and “Do you have a minute?” are useful for this purpose (245). A broadcaster named Barry takes this idea further with a practice called “What Color Is Your Time?” Whenever he calls someone, he asks if their time is “red,” “yellow,” or “green,” signifying their availability and willingness to engage. For those in sales, it’s crucial to only make a pitch when a person’s time is “green.” This practice respects the other person’s time and increases the likelihood of a positive response.

Voicemail messages are often overlooked but can serve as important first impressions. For a message to be effective, it should be professional and up to date; updating one’s voicemail can create an impression of attentiveness. Additionally, including brief details like one’s availability or schedule can help set expectations for a return call.

In the professional world, a voicemail message can serve as a crucial “ten-second audition” that either opens doors or closes them. Messages that embody the three Cs—“Confidence, Clarity, and Credibility”—are more likely to be returned. To further capture attention, it’s beneficial to incorporate a fourth C—a “cliffhanger” that leaves the receiver wanting more. Additionally, infusing one’s message with personality—and preparing and rehearsing it—can make it more memorable.

“The Ho-Hum Caper” suggests that confidence can help one navigate social barriers. When calling a busy or important person, instead of asking for the person by name, the technique suggests using a pronoun—like “Is he in?” or “Is she in?” (256). This gives off an impression of familiarity, suggesting that the speaker has an existing relationship with the target. The technique aims to exploit assumptions and social norms to one’s advantage, enabling easier access to people or places that might otherwise be closed off.

“I Hear Your Other Line” focuses on the art of being courteous and perceptive in phone conversations. It argues that being attuned to background noise is a hallmark of effective communication. Whether it’s another phone ringing, a dog barking, or a baby crying, acknowledging distractions shows attentiveness and gives the other party an opportunity to attend to urgent matters. Similarly, when dealing with international clients or colleagues, knowing foreign holidays and time zones shows mindfulness.

“Instant Replay” advocates for the recording and review of important phone conversations. The idea is to catch details that might have been missed. This is illustrated in an anecdote about Laura, a nutritionist who failed to capture information during a call with a potential distributor. “Instant Replay” is not just about catching details but decoding emotions to prevent misunderstandings.