Insignificant Events in the Life of a Cactus

Light represents the value of each individual. Dad compares Aven to the planets, shining brighter than the myriad ordinary stars in the sky, showing Aven that she is unique and valuable. Dad uses the biblical parable of the lamp to encourage Aven to be herself and tells her not to wish that she were like other people, saying, “No one lights a lamp and hides it under a basket. They put it on a table so it can shine for all to see” (213). By hiding in the bathroom to eat, and by almost not trying out for the soccer team, Aven has been hiding herself—her personality, her talents—from others. When she chooses to put herself forward by joining the team and performing at the festival, Aven is finally able to fully be herself. She feels like she is shining, and thinks, “Maybe the light was in me” (253). From the top of her hill, Aven looks at the city lights and sees “millions of lights for millions of people” (253), recognizing that everyone has a light inside—something unique and valuable to share.

Stares symbolize how others focus on Aven, Connor, and Zion’s differences from a desired norm rather than accepting who they are as individuals. All three characters endure frequent stares that make them uncomfortable. Aven blogs about the different kinds of stares she receives, including looks that label her a “freak,” ones that make her invisible, pitying stares, blasé stares, and curious looks. These stares are objectifying: Aven feels that they reduce her to nothing more than her disability, rather than allowing her to be seen as an individual. She tells Connor that “no one has talked to me like I’m an actual person” (57). Stares hurt Aven’s feelings even when she pretends that they do not. Connor also suffers from peoples’ critical looks, declaring, “I hate it when people look at me” (78). Stares are exclusionary. Whether they render the friends socially invisible or negatively label them as different, stares mark them as “other” and keep Aven, Connor, and Zion apart from their peers.

Like food, this symbol changes when each of the friends embraces their individuality and finds self-acceptance. When Aven tries out for the soccer team, Aven interprets the girls’ stares as negative, but then discovers that the girls appreciate her skill, and see her in terms of what she can do, not what she can’t. Likewise, Aven is looked at onstage during the festival, but the gazes are excited and supportive, not critical. Connor also braves the stares of the crowd to watch Aven. When the friends “shine,” or show who they are inside, people accept them, and see the nuances of their personalities, skills, and desires.

The lone cactus symbolizes individual significance and strength. Aven initially uses the giant cactus to put things in perspective and to try to convince herself that any unhappiness she feels is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. The cactus has been around for decades and witnessed important historical events. Aven argues that her life, in comparison, is “insignificant.” Aven learns, however, that she too is unique and valuable and that her life matters as much as anyone’s. Aven played the part of a cactus in a sixth-grade play, and the experience was revelatory. She enjoyed being onstage and felt liberated by the experience, reflecting, “I felt like I could do anything” (148). Acting was inspirational and empowering: she felt included, celebrated, and strong. After performing at the festival, Aven comments that she “felt as big as the giant saguaro beside me” (253). These events help Aven give a sense of belonging in the larger world. The cactus represents her inner strength and significance.

The “extremely old mutant llama with a giant tumor growing out of his head” represents the painful exclusion caused by peoples’ uneducated reactions to body shapes that aren’t what they expect (27). Kids avoid petting Spaghetti because his physical appearance frightens them. Aven, however, identifies with Spaghetti. She understands what it is like to be shunned, ignored, or stared at because she has no arms. When everything seems to be going wrong, Aven tells Spaghetti that he is “the only one who understands me” (210). Aven visits Spaghetti to pet him and praise him “for his self-esteem” (70, because no one else will pet him. Connor, too, accepts Spaghetti without hesitation. Aven calls the three of them “cool X-Men mutants” (70), celebrating their differences. Aven befriends Spaghetti way she wishes to be included by others, revealing her own desire to fit in.

After finding books about tarantulas in the old shed, and an old tarantula habitat, Aven becomes obsessed with tarantulas. She searches for them futilely. The hairy arachnids become a symbol of Aven’s search for self-knowledge. Aven wonders why there are no more tarantulas around Stagecoach Pass and learns from Henry that they all went away in 2004—her birth year, and the year Aven’s birth mom died. On the night of the festival, when Aven feels energized, powerful, and comfortable in her own skin, she thinks she finally spots a tarantula. Her sighting represents both a connection to her birth mom and Aven’s deepening self-awareness.