Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also a big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.”

Kaling presents an altered view of the pursuit of Hollywood fame and challenges the notion that it is related to popularity or even attractiveness. She suggests that there is value in effort and that hard work can open doors. For Kaling, Pursuing a Career in Film Media requires gumption, stamina, and study.

“I wish there was a song called ‘Nguyen and Ari,’ a little ditty about a hardworking Vietnamese girl who helps her parents with the franchised Holiday Inn they run, and she does homework in the lobby, and Ari, a hardworking Jewish boy who does volunteer work at his grandmother’s old-age home.”

Kaling’s weight was not the only feature that set her apart from her classmates. Her parents were both Indian immigrants, and she knew that her life did not directly mirror the popular song “Jack and Diane” that allegedly epitomized American adolescence. When Kaling was in high school, she was involved in clubs and academics and spent her evenings with her family. Kaling credits this with helping prepare her for her career.

“I found myself wanting to spend more time with Mavis than JLMP. I spent the week looking forward to Saturday so I could write sketches with her. I didn’t want her to be my secret friend anymore.”

In this passage, Kaling learns the importance of shared interest in friendships and embracing authenticity over popularity. Even though she liked her friend group, they did not appreciate her authentic self. Mavis, however, enjoyed comedy and did not mind if Kaling wanted to watch the same movie multiple times. An important component to The Power of Being a Nerd is finding supportive friends who are also interested in learning and growing.

“You know that saying ‘big fish in a small pond’? At Dartmouth College, I was freakin’ Jaws in a community swimming pool.”

This quotation exemplifies hyperbole for comedic effect (See: Literary Devices). Kaling loved college and was successful in multiple activities. The sentences here play on a well-known idiom, which Kaling then uses to exaggerate her success.

“Nobody cared what he wore (some kind of dark-colored suit), his hair was famously always the same, and he got to sit at the same desk every episode.”

In this passage, Kaling describes the late-night comedian Conan O’Brien. In Chapter 6, she outlines the type of fame she would like to have, holding O’Brien as the model. Her description of O’Brien highlights the disparity between how men and women are treated in Hollywood. Kaling juxtaposes O’Brien and other male celebrities with female celebrities like Paris Hilton, who are relentlessly pursued by paparazzi and expected to always look beautiful.

“Because no one was hiring us to act or write, Brenda and I decided to create something to perform in ourselves.”

Kaling presents another important element to the pursuit of a career in film and television. When Brenda and Kaling were struggling to find work as actors or writers, they decided to write something that they could act in and direct on their own. Kaling emphasizes the importance of making space for oneself and finding joyful work through collaboration.

“You know that really horny and hilarious best friend who is always asking about your relationship and has nothing really going on in her own life? […] Nope? Okay, that’s this person.”

Chapter 11 provides a list of female tropes in television and film fiction. Here, Kaling criticizes the trope of a libidinous, but single best friend, which she mocks as unrealistic and one-dimensional. The writer advocates for creative work that reflects the diverse reality of the human experience, especially for women and women of color.

“Another common question is how do I manage to stay so down-to-earth in the face of such incredible success? This I can’t explain. It probably has something to do with innate goodness or something.”

In contrast to her self-deprecating humor, Kaling occasionally uses self-inflating humor for effect. Self-inflating humor allows Mindy to mock self-importance. The question she poses is one often presented to celebrities, and Kaling uses this joke to satirize the unachievable, and often false, standards set by Hollywood.

“The job of a comedy writer is essentially to sit and have funny conversations about hypothetical situations, and you are rewarded for originality of detail.”

Kaling gives insight into entertainment writing careers while presenting information about a skill that she exhibits throughout her memoir. In the writers’ room, Kaling and others would pitch ideas in a rapid-fire session. Kaling uses the same technique in the form of lists (See: Literary Devices), allowing her to present multiple jokes in quick succession.

“As you can see, when I write, I like to look like I’m recovering from tuberculosis.”

While describing her writing routine, Kaling provides another example of hyperbole (See: Literary Devices). She presents a picture of herself in bed with a laptop in front of her. Kaling exaggerates her appearance in the photo for comedic effect.

“Apples to Apples 4D (audiences are pummeled with apples at the end of the movie), Crest Whitestrips, Sharks vs. Volcanoes, King Tut vs. King Kong.”

This passage presents Kaling’s ideas for movies that film executives might be interested in producing in the future. Here, the writer utilizes the rapid-fire technique that she practiced in writers’ rooms. The list presents numerous jokes, one right after the other. A script may include “candy bag alts,” which are a collection of alternative jokes for actors to try.

“I guess nothing puts a damper on a one-night stand as much as your friend pointing out all the opportunities where you might have been killed.”

Kaling’s childhood reserve carried over into her adult life. In this chapter, Kaling presents a dialogue between herself and her roommate about a one-night stand. Kaling is incredulous that her friend would go to a stranger’s apartment and put herself in danger.

“And if you’re older than twenty-eight, then just kissing someone doesn’t count for crap and is not even worth mentioning. Unless you’re Mormon, in which case you’re going to hell.”

In this quotation, Kaling uses a lesser-known literary device called a paraprosdokian sentence. In this technique, the sentence is headed in one direction and then tries to catch the reader off-guard with a sudden shift in tone or sentiment. These sentences present a strong, declarative sentence followed by a hyperbolic exception for comedic effect.

“In addition to crying at the typical girl cry-bait, like The Notebook, I also have been moved to tears by some other stuff, which I’ve listed in no particular order: The Promise of Evan Lieberman.”

Chapter 23 offers another example of the literary device of listing. Kaling outlines movies and situations that make her cry that she feels are neither traumatic nor necessarily worth crying about. Unlike the short lists that Kaling infuses into her writing, chapters like this one are structured as lists, allowing the writer to offer multiple jokes about one topic before moving on to another idea.

“I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man.”

Kaling uses the literary device of juxtaposition to compare men and boys (See: Literary Devices). She pairs this technique with hyperbole to emphasize the differences between the two categories.

“When I see a perfectly hairless, tanned guy on-screen, I am forced to recall the Chihuahua.”

Kaling provides many opinionated, critical statements about how people, especially men, should dress and behave. In this chapter, she argues that men should embrace their chest hair. Kaling’s jokes about men and women raise important questions about gender roles and norms.

“They’re not big on analyzing their relationship. What do I mean by pals? It mostly means that they want to talk about the same stuff all the time. In my parents’ case, it’s essentially rose bushes, mulch, and placement of shrubs.”

The theme The Power of Being a Nerd extends beyond a career in film. Kaling shows how nerdiness can be an asset to relationships, dating, and marriage. Her parents exemplify marriage for her because they approach it like a friendship rather than a grandiose romantic drama. By enjoying time together in shared interests, Kaling’s parents maintain a healthy, long-term relationship.

“Getting professionally beautified was all that I dreamed about doing when I was an asexual-looking little kid.”

Kaling highlights the problems with Hollywood in relation to Body Image and Self-Confidence. Chapter 30 offers a list of ways that some stylists have tried to dress Kaling and other actors with large bodies. The glamorous life of fashion that Kaling imagined was not available to her and those who look like her, so she advocated for herself and carved space for herself in the fashion world.

“Then it was my turn to get fitted. I was given an enormous, shapeless black muumuu held together by a wad of Velcro and tied together with gold rope.”

This passage outlines the discriminatory ways in which society treats women with large bodies. Here, Kaling describes a play she participated in. Her outfit was different from everyone else’s, clearly cut from the stage curtains. Later, at a prestigious photo shoot with racks of dresses, Kaling learns that the stylist has only brought sample sizes (designer dresses in size zero). These instances impact Kaling’s self-esteem.

“There was a small amount of excrement smeared on the wall, and next to it, in black Sharpie pen, someone had scrawled, ‘This school is bullshit!’ I laughed out loud.”

After learning that a stylist had no dresses that would fit her and crying in the bathroom, Kaling discovered a note written by a middle school student in the bathroom stall. This note helped bring her back to comedy and remember the source of her self-confidence. When she left the bathroom, she demanded the stylist find a way to make a dress work for her.

“He has framed pictures of all the people he’s murdered. I choke him to death with his own mask. When his body goes lifeless in my arms, I’m tempted to pull off the mask to see who it was. But I stop just before I do it. I don’t even care anymore.”

This chapter combines the literary devices of hyperbole and listing. Kaling offers her readers ideas for situations that might help motivate workout routines, advocating for revenge fantasies. She encourages her readers to imagine themselves in these situations to amplify their exercise. Each scenario increases in absurdity, exaggerating the narrative.

“No irony at all. I mean it. I spent my entire professional career dealing in irony. I want an almost cringe-inducingly earnest ceremony.”

In contrast to her life, Kaling claims that she wants a funeral that is serious and without irony. Nevertheless, Kaling’s list of her funeral demands incorporates many techniques she uses throughout the work: Listing, hyperbole, satire, etc.

“Mindy wore a lot of hats: Ivy League graduate, actor, comedian, playwright, inveterate gossip, weirdly pro-gun Republican, outspoken advocate of conspicuous consumption, and of course—as we learned upon the posthumous release of her puffy-sticker-covered diaries—hard-core perv.”

This chapter, written by Mark Schur, describes the dualities that Mindy Kaling exhibits in a mock eulogy. She is shallow and silly, as well as serious and studious. Schur contrasts Kaling’s real-life qualities with absurd characteristics, utilizing another form of juxtaposition (See: Literary Devices).