Iveliz Explains It All

For most of the story, Iveliz’s relationships are lopsided. The emphasis is on her and her needs, and the imbalance manifests in her relationship with Amir. Iveliz presents him as her “best friend.” She labels him “the most chill person I know” (29). The praise is misleading: What makes Amir “chill” is his tolerance for Iveliz’s demands. She expects Amir to be available to her all the time. After Mimi calls her Tania, Iveliz tries to video chat. As he doesn’t answer, Iveliz grows angry, composing a poem, “My Ex-Friend Amir, Unforgiven” (52). Dad tries to reason with Iveliz, telling her, “[N]o one can be there for someone 24-7.” Yet Iveliz isn’t ready to adopt a moderate position. She hyperbolic declares, “I don’t need anyone / I got me, myself, and I. / Soy la dura” (52).

Iveliz has her journal, but the journal is another manifestation of her lopsided interactions. Iveliz turns her journal into an interlocutor, addressing it as “Journal,” but the journal isn’t a person. About her journal, Iveliz says, “[You’re the] only one who won’t judge me or call me crazy / or mad” (106). The journal can’t form unfavorable perceptions of her because it lacks agency. It functions as a receptacle for her overwhelming emotions. Thus, the journal symbolizes a safe audience, but at the same time, it represents an enabler. It encourages Iveliz to express her unmitigated feelings and doesn’t push to consider an equitable perspective because it is only representative of Iveliz’s unfiltered emotions.

The adults, too, are subject to Iveliz’s polarizing attitude toward relationships. She presents Maimi as an unqualified antagonist, and while she confesses that her “hate” for Dr. Turnup isn’t “personal,” she dismisses him as an agent of Mami’s oppression. Mimi, too, represents Iveliz’s polarization. Sometimes, she presents Mimi as her greatest ally. When she cooks or gardens with Mimi, she’s happy. Other times, she gives Mimi the same adversarial status as Dr. Turnip and Mami. However, Mimi truly antagonizes Iveliz by trivializing her mental health condition and treatments.

Iveliz’s position improves once she starts cultivating relationships where both people feel valued and acknowledged. Dr. Turnip encourages her to talk and explain her feelings. Speaking about her overwhelming feelings doesn’t overwhelm people but leads to understanding. When Iveliz conceals her feelings from Akiko, there’s conflict. Once she reveals her emotions, the girls figure out a way to maintain the friendship. The same dynamic applies to Amir and Mami. Since Iveliz stops viewing her mother as an unredeemable enemy, they can connect and bond. As Iveliz’s balanced relationships take root, she writes less in her journal. She doesn’t need it because other people can handle her feelings now that she’s embraced a practical attitude toward human connections.