Mockingbird

At dinner, Caitlin’s father reminds her that next school year she will attend the middle school (the same school where Devon was shot). He offers her a chance to go to a private school, but Caitlin says no.

At school, Caitlin feels lost; Mrs. Brook is not back, and Michael and Josh have become close. When the students have free time in the computer lab, Caitlin looks up Eagle Scout projects and sees why Devon’s project was so important. Then she looks up closure again: “The act of bringing something to an end” (148). In an a-ha moment, Caitlin understands what she will do to bring closure: She and her father will finish the chest that Devon started. She is so excited that she forgets where she is and screams loudly, “I GET IT! I GET IT!” (149).

When Caitlin’s father picks her up from school, she abruptly says they need to go to Lowe’s. Once they’re there, she finally explains what she’s looking for: hinges to finish Devon’s chest. Her father says no: “I am not ready to work on the chest” (152). Caitlin cannot see why her father does not “get it” (153). As they leave Lowe’s, Caitlin begins to cry, and she cries all the way home until she is safely back in her hidey-hole in Devon’s room.

Caitlin is still excited about her idea, but her father remains unconvinced. She shares her idea with Michael even though, with Mrs. Brook still gone, Caitlin no longer shares recess with him. To convince her father, Caitlin sketches an eagle on a T-shirt and hopes he will put the puzzle together: “EAGLE + SCOUT” (155). He tries to explain how complicated the project is: The dresser needs special wood—quarter-cut oak—that is difficult to find. Undeterred, Caitlin knows they have an oak tree in their backyard. She takes a quarter and heads out to the yard to cut sections of the oak tree with her quarter.

After six hours of hacking at the oak tree with the quarter, Caitlin’s fingers are bloody and sore, and she recognizes that she “will never get a whole piece of wood out of there” (158).

At school, Mrs. Brook is back. She is alarmed when she sees Caitlin’s cut-up hands. Caitlin explains, and Mrs. Brook assures her that quarter-cut oak is not wood cut from an oak tree with a quarter. She tells Caitlin she will call her father and tell him how much the project means to her.

Caitlin’s father again tries to explain his reluctance to complete Devon’s Eagle Scout project. Caitlin tells him he needs closure and that “you have to try even if it’s hard and you think you can never do it” (162). Her father, now in tears, relents: “Maybe we can make something good and strong and beautiful come out of this” (163). They agree to head to Lowe’s first thing the next morning. That night before she goes to bed Caitlin sneaks down to the living room and quietly pulls the sheets off the chest to remind her father that he has promised to help.

After they’ve made another trip to Lowe’s, Caitlin’s father first has to repair the damage he caused when he kicked the chest on the day Devon was killed. Caitlin encourages him. Whenever she has a tantrum, she says, she always has to clean up whatever damage she caused. During a break they watch the news. When a report starts about a school shooting in Maryland, Caitlin’s father shuts off the television. Caitlin knows her father is disturbed, but “disturbed” is not an emotion she entirely understands: “It’s the kind of face that gives you a bad feeling” (169). She realizes that closure may not be easy.

The next day, Caitlin tells a surprised Mrs. Brook that she is ready to make a friend, saying, “Maybe it will help me get closure” (171). At lunch, she sits down at the table with Laura, one of the prettiest and most popular girls in the class. “I want to be your friend” (172), Caitlin says. Laura tells her to sit somewhere else. One after another, girls reject Caitlin’s offer to be their friend. She struggles to understand the feeling of rejection. Later that day in music class, one girl tells Caitlin she is a “kind of special that is weird” (175). Caitlin’s hands begin to shake. One girl tells the others to leave her alone because “[s]he’s autistic” (176). Caitlin explodes, yelling, “I AM NOT AUTISTIC” (176).

When Caitlin calms down in Mrs. Brook’s office, Mrs. Brook explains the autism spectrum and where Caitlin falls: She is “high functioning” and “very capable” (178). Caitlin says that she is giving up on this “friend thing.” Mrs. Brook tells her to be patient.

After recess, Caitlin must go to phys ed, which she hates. Today the students are playing dodgeball. Caitlin loathes the game, and when she objects to the instructor, he makes an insensitive remark about “autistic kids.” Some of the girls who were mean to Caitlin at lunch excuse themselves from the class (they tell the instructor it is a “girl thing”) and, taking Caitlin with them, they go to Mrs. Brook and tell her what the gym teacher said. Mrs. Brook promptly sends for the gym teacher, who apologizes to Caitlin. He thanks Caitlin for teaching him an important lesson about sensitivity to others.