Rite of Passage

Fiction | Poem | Adult | Published in 1984

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Summary

Background

Poem Analysis

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Literary Devices

Themes

Violence and Masculinity

The poem illustrates the violence, aggression, and dominance pervasive in men’s lives from a very early age and onward, a culture they are initiated into as boys as a rite of passage. The aggression of the boys is prevalent throughout the entire poem, beginning with the skirmishes as they stand around, and carried through the way they measure each other up and compare ages: “I could beat you / up, a seven says to a six” (Lines 12-13). While the mother regards her son as more gentle and soft, with his nutmeg-freckled cheeks, “balsa” (Line 17) wood chest, and “cool and thin” (Line 19) hands, his statement about killing a two-year-old provides a startling contrast, suggesting that even the boys who may be more naturally inclined to nonviolence will begin to demonstrate aggressive behaviors in order to measure up and not appear weak.

This competition for dominance, to at the very least not come last in the pecking order (and the speaker’s son clearly relegates the two-year-old to this position), can exhibit itself merely as childish in-fighting and harmless “jockeying for place” (Line 6), but it can also serve as a root for broader societal issues like violence, war, and destruction. Sharon Olds’s comparison of the younger boys to adult men like bankers and generals hints at what their aggressive and bullying tendencies may eventually manifest as the children move into adulthood. Unchecked, these dominating behaviors can lead to individual-scale problems like violence and bullying, or worse, social and global issues like genocide and war.

Loss of Innocence

The boys at the birthday party are in the first grade, around six to seven years old, yet their behavior already mirrors that of much older individuals, such as generals and bankers who hold high positions in society and often fund or orchestrate large-scale violence. The youth of the boys demonstrating such aggressive behavior, going so far as to suggest the murder of a two-year-old, highlights both the absurdity and the disturbing nature of their interactions as they lose their child-like innocence and mimic the violence they see around them.

Amidst the scene of the aggressive and bullying behavior of the boys, the mother focuses on her own son and the memory of his birth, with much of her description centered around the smallness and delicate nature of the child as he was born from her body, which contrasts wildly with his statement a few lines later—“We could easily kill a two-year-old” (Line 22)—a statement that displays a similar, and perhaps more shocking, violence than his friends had displayed earlier in the poem. Despite the perception of gentleness and innocence on the part of the mother toward her son, the son’s violent comment, which almost seems to be said offhand, is a moment of realization. The boy, like the other boys at the birthday party, engages in aggressive behaviors that denote an early transition away from innocence.

A Mother’s Influence

Despite the speaker of the poem being the mother of the young birthday boy, she is largely removed from the goings-on of the party. She plays the role of an observer, not appearing to condone or condemn the behavior of the boys, instead noting it from afar with a wry tone. The speaker, does, however, make several references to her own motherhood and the experience of observing her son among his peers. Yet, after ruminating on the description of her son, his birth, and his youthfulness, the speaker hears her son’s violent statement about the two-year-old. The effect of this juxtaposition reinforces the fact that, although the mother gave life to her son, her influence on that life grows increasingly limited. This a theme that Olds often explores in her work and continues to write about in later collections as her son grows up and becomes a man.

In “Rite of Passage,” the mother is confronted with the idea that her son is no longer the small and innocent creature that she gave birth to but has now begun to enter a world far removed from her, one that encourages violent behaviors in childhood that can lead to even greater issues in adulthood. The mother’s inaction indicates that she may view her son’s behavior with a certain ambivalence, powerlessness, or a feeling of inevitability. In the end, Olds doesn’t provide a solution to the cycle of violence or how a mother may guide a son away from it, and the boys continue to celebrate the son’s life by “playing war” (Line 26), mimicking an event that could, ironically, extinguish that life and many others.