Sex and Vanity: A Novel

Lucie and Charlotte fly into Capri for Lucie’s friend Isabel’s wedding. Lucie expresses her interest in visiting the Blue Grotto while there, hopeful that Isabel’s itinerary for the week won’t keep her too busy. They land and make their way to the hotel. Charlotte scoffs about how poorly they’re treated along the way. Lucie wishes she were traveling alone, but her mother, Marian Churchill, insisted that Charlotte accompany her. She and her brother, Freddie, secretly call Charlotte “Madam Buzzkill.” Charlotte interrupts Lucie’s thoughts to talk about Isabel’s fiancé, Adolfo De Vecchi. Finally, they arrive at Hotel Bertolucci, and the concierge leads them to their room. Charlotte clarifies that she and Lucie are cousins and that Lucie’s “mother is Chinese, but her father is American” (25). As soon as they see their rooms, Charlotte demands to see the manager.

In the lunchroom, Charlotte continues complaining about their rooms because they don’t have the ocean views they requested. She whines about the food, too, and demands better service. A nearby woman named Rosemary Zao overhears Charlotte’s complaints and offers to swap rooms. She and her son, George Zao, are there for the wedding and aren’t bothered by rooms without views. They’re from Hong Kong and have houses in Sydney and Hawaii, where they always see the ocean. Charlotte declines the offer and remarks on Rosemary’s rudeness to Lucie after Rosemary steps away. Then, George approaches the table and insists that they take the rooms. Lucie studies his outfit and appearance and tries to look away. Charlotte refuses George’s offer, too.

Sitting by the pool, Charlotte continues complaining to Lucie about Rosemary’s rudeness. Lucie insists that she was just being a nice “Chinese auntie.” Charlotte’s acquaintance Auden Bebee approaches the pool, and Charlotte calls him over. He doesn’t immediately recognize Charlotte; he’s a yoga instructor, life coach, motivational speaker, and author and meets people all the time. He invites the women to join his yoga classes by the pool and informs them of a puppy yoga class he’ll be teaching in East Hampton, where Lucie summers.

Sisters Paloma and Mercedes Ortiz join Charlotte, Auden, and Lucie. They overheard what happened in the lunchroom and express their condolences. They agree that Rosemary has poor manners. Auden suggests that Charlotte thinks too much like a New Yorker and urges her to take the rooms. Charlotte’s insistence that the situation is tainting the family name irritates Lucie because Charlotte invokes their name whenever possible. Finally, Charlotte agrees to have Auden accept the Zaos’ offer on her behalf.

Lucie and Charlotte attend a party at the Gardens of Augustus. Finally, they find Isabel and Dolfi. Isabel tells Lucie to leave the party and look at the view to avoid the irritating guests. On the top deck, Lucie runs into Olivia, who has a Leica camera. Charlotte joins, and the women talk about Olivia’s work in entertainment in LA. Charlotte complains about their hotel rooms again and retells the story about Rosemary. Olivia guesses where they’re from in New York. Lucie is shocked that she knows the Upper East Side so well.

Afterward, Lucie walks in the garden alone and runs into George. George’s remarks annoy her, and she walks off again, running into Rosemary shortly thereafter. Rosemary begs Lucie to be kind to George because he doesn’t want to be there and doesn’t care about the right things. Lucie assures her that she wouldn’t be a good friend to George and storms off.

Lucie and Isabel meet for a walk. Isabel remembers when Lucie’s father died and how protective she has felt over her ever since. She dismisses the thought, and they continue chatting about the wedding as they arrive at the beach club. They study the landscape, exclaiming at the nearby Faraglioni rocks.

Lucie and Isabel join Isabel’s friends Amelia, Daniella, Sophie, and Talitha at the club. Lucie leaves to swim and goes out as far as she can. Auden joins her at the edge and starts talking to her about college life at Brown and Lucie’s artistic goals. He recommends visiting some artists’ houses and gardens and insists that he wants to see her paintings.

Lucie rejoins the other women on shore. They watch George dive into the water in a Speedo. The women exclaim at how attractive he is. Lucie feels embarrassed and angry.

Olivia and Lucie meet in the hotel lobby and wait for Charlotte. Olivia is supposed to take them “shopping for sandals” (61). They go on ahead without Charlotte and wander through a smaller neighborhood. Finally, they arrive at the sandal maker Da Costanzo’s shop. Lucie orders a pair of custom leather sandals, but Olivia disappears while she’s waiting. Lucie wanders back toward the hotel, stopping at a little café on the way. She orders a drink and watches the people seated nearby and walking past. Suddenly, the man next to her collapses. His head hits Lucie’s dessert as he tumbles to the ground. Other guests shout for help, but Lucie can’t move. Suddenly, George appears and starts giving the man CPR. Lucie flees the scene.

George finds Lucie sitting near the Arco Naturale. Lucie is surprised that he found her, but he was coming to the arch anyway. He asks if she is all right after what happened at the café, but Lucie doesn’t want to talk about the incident. George leads her away from the arch and into the nearby hills, where he identifies sights and shares facts about them. Finally, they arrive at the Grotta di Matermania. Inside the cave, Lucie says a prayer in front of an altar. When she turns, George is missing. She doesn’t understand why he brought her here and what she feels about him. He is one of the only Asian boys she’s interacted with other than Freddie.

After emerging from the cavern, Lucie finds George in front of a private property. He says that he knows the owner and is studying the property for an environmental class at the University of California, Berkeley. Then, George informs Lucie that he returned to the café to get her bag, but the bag and sandals were spattered in blood, so he threw them away. Lucie realizes that the man at the café died and that someone lost a father, husband, and friend. George tells Lucie a different version of the story, saying that he and a doctor saved the man’s life and he didn’t die. Lucie bursts into tears and leans into George, crying on his shoulder.