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43 pages 1 hour read

Holly Goldberg Sloan

Short

Fiction | Novel | Middle Grade | Published in 2017

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Themes

Processing Grief

Content Warning: This section includes discussion of racial discrimination, ableism, pet death, and grief.

Julia Marks ascribes two characteristics to herself in the opening chapter of the novel: She is short, and she is grieving the loss of her dog, Ramon. By centering these two ideas in the novel’s opening pages, the author invites the reader to focus on how Julia’s attitude toward both her stature and her grief might develop, signaling that these ideas will be tied together within Julia’s character arc. The first-person narration shows Julia consistently tying her current surroundings or feelings back to memories of Ramon, immersing readers in the recursive nature of processing grief.

At the start of the summer, Julia wants to get over losing Ramon but still “[looks] all the time for Ramon” around the house (4), showing how grief creates ambivalence. Julia has contradictory desires that cause her to feel stuck: She both does and does not want to move on. The first element Julia puts into her summer scrapbook is hair from Ramon’s collar, symbolizing how she’ll experience the summer through the lens of her grief. She chooses not to put Ramon’s dog tag in the scrapbook because “[she’s] not ready” to treat Ramon as something wholly from her past (38). When Julia imagines her own business card during the first full rehearsal for the play, the first descriptor she plans to add under her name is “Ramon’s Best Friend” (57), showing how Julia ties her identity to the relationship she has lost.

Although Julia’s scrapbook initially illustrates her enmeshment in her grief, it also externalizes her feelings in a way that proves healing. Her scrapbook’s table of contents, which lists “losing Ramon” as the first entry, gives Julia a concrete way to examine her grief. This prompts her decision to add “something smiley,” which ultimately leads to her meeting Mrs. Chang, receiving her new Munchkin shoes, and getting cast as a flying monkey. It is after her first flying monkey rehearsal that Julia says Ramon’s name out loud to another character (Shawn Barr) for the first time: “You are the first person who really takes my mind off of Ramon” (128). Once again, by externalizing her grief, Julia reengages with the outside world.

Julia’s grief does not simply disappear, nor is it replaced by the play, as evidenced by Julia’s dream of Ramon in the very next chapter. However, Julia’s references to Ramon are fewer in the second half of the story than the first. When Mrs. Chang reveals to Julia that her daughter died, Julia can empathize with Mrs. Chang’s grief because of her own experience with Ramon, and they cry together. Julia has moved from constantly thinking about Ramon, to speaking Ramon’s name aloud, to fully expressing her grief with a person that she trusts and providing support to that person in the process. The final symbol of Julia’s growth is her closing night gift to Shawn Barr: the wooden carving of Ramon. Where Julia couldn’t bear to add Ramon’s dog tag to her scrapbook at the start of the novel, she can part with his likeness at the end of her character arc, showing how far her grieving process has come. Ultimately, the novel portrays the grieving process as nonlinear: There is not a starting point and ending point to grief but rather movement through different intensities of grief over the course of a person’s life.

Body Positivity, Discrimination, and Intersectionality

The novel presents body positivity and body negativity as social attitudes, showing how cultural environment influences a person’s ideas about beauty and ability. At the start of the novel, Julia explains that she doesn’t use the word “short” because of her parents’ attitudes toward her height. Julia’s mother and father see her height as a negative trait—an indication that something may be wrong with Julia. Julia’s change in perspective about her height comes as a direct result of key role models she meets through the play: Olive, Shawn Barr, and Mrs. Chang.

When Julia first meets Olive, she thinks that Olive is another child auditioning for the Munchkin cast. Julia quickly realizes not only that Olive, Quincy, and Larry are little people but also that their stature benefits them in this context: She concludes that Olive and the others “have the right look” (24) to be Munchkins and that she and the other children have been brought in to fill in the gaps. Shawn Barr, the director, is also a shorter man. When Julia sees four short people in desirable positions—three because of their height—she begins to take pride in her height instead of resenting it.

Julia builds on her new perspective about her height through Shawn Barr’s movement exercises, in which he frames movement as a form of self-expression: “We are small people but we will not move small” (44). These exercises help Julia think about bodies through the lens of what they can do rather than what they can’t, and she starts applying this lens to both herself and the people around her. By centering how people communicate who they are via their bodies, Shawn Barr models a body-positive perspective for Julia.

The novel’s exploration of body positivity is not confined to its depiction of height, and Julia also learns to think about embodiment in ways that are less directly relevant to her personally. The novel juxtaposes Julia’s initial attitude toward Shawn Barr with her first impression of Mrs. Chang to demonstrate how intersectional identities affect body positivity. Julia meets Shawn Barr at auditions, and there is immediate buzz about his skills as a director; the reader learns that he is older and short, but those qualities aren’t associated with any judgments about his ability (in fact, his height endears him to Julia). In contrast, Julia’s first impression of Mrs. Chang is that “she doesn’t look like she could sing or dance” because she is older and has a reputation for being private (72). Julia doesn’t even trust Mrs. Chang’s sewing skills, and once those skills are proven, Julia still believes Mrs. Chang’s age prevents her from being a flying monkey. Both Shawn Barr and Mrs. Chang are older theater professionals, but Mrs. Chang, a Chinese American woman, is perceived differently than Shawn Barr and made to prove herself. Only when Olive, a little woman of color, explicitly calls Shawn Barr’s attitude toward Mrs. Chang discrimination does Shawn Barr change his mind and allow her to audition. At this moment, Julia notices Olive’s skin color and understands it as another aspect of her embodiment that influences her experiences, rendering her vulnerable to a kind of judgment distinct from ableism alone.

Julia’s developing concept of body positivity is challenged when she learns from the doctor that she may grow to be five foot four inches, which she calls an average height. Through her time in Munchkin land, Julia “had stopped worrying about growing” (244), but her reaction to the news about her height shows that she is now worried in the opposite direction—she’s concerned about being too tall, worried that she may lose something she has come to see as integral to her identity. Nevertheless, the novel suggests that Julia will learn to accept her height, regardless of what it is, with the final line: “I grew this summer. Not on the outside, but on the inside. And that’s the only place where growing really matters” (296).

The Power and Purpose of Theater

The author sets Julia’s story of growth against the backdrop of a summer community theater production to show how participating in theater can be a transformative experience. Julia begins the first day of rehearsal apprehensive, even attempting to sprain her own ankle so she doesn’t have to go. However, once she meets Olive, Larry, and Quincy and sees Shawn Barr’s passion, she becomes invested in the show. The show also connects her to Mrs. Chang later in the novel, demonstrating how theater can facilitate important and diverse friendships. Such relationships, often between people with very different life experiences, render concrete art’s ability to illuminate unfamiliar perspectives and voices. As Shawn Barr puts it, “The world is filled with bias […] That’s why we do theater. That’s what it’s about. We are asking people to take another look at themselves and at each other” (180).

The theater production also benefits Julia in ways more particular to her. For one, it puts her in positions of leadership that she would not seek for herself. Shawn Barr names Julia lead Munchkin dancer because of the Munchkin costume that Julia wears to rehearsal, but Julia is terrified; she doesn’t believe she is a particularly good singer or dancer. When Julia confronts Shawn Barr about his decision to make her a lead dancer and a flying monkey, he tells her that he has given her these positions because she’s “[...] all in. That’s what matters” (127). As this episode demonstrates, the production connects Julia to mentoring adults who encourage her to learn new skills and who affirm the skills that she doesn’t necessarily see in herself: “No one has ever said that [that she is a ‘helluva kid’] about me before, and it feels great” (127). Shawn Barr also gives Julia a model for how to respond to rejection in a positive way—a lesson that Julia will take with her into other areas of life.

Throughout the novel, Julia considers careers and adult life, imagining what she might want to do when she grows up. The theater exposes her to several tangible career options that she hadn’t known about before, but beyond that, participating in the arts opens Julia to creative, communication-focused pursuits. With this, the novel’s emphasis on art as a way of expanding one’s horizons comes full circle: If part of art’s function is to help people see things with fresh eyes, it is also a vehicle for sharing the insights one arrives at. Julia’s experiences with art inspire her to consider how art “make[s] people see the world and their life in a different way” and develop her own cultural and artistic perspective (188). The author conveys the long-lasting effect that the arts will have on Julia’s life through Shawn Barr’s final gift to Julia: his script. Julia says to close the novel: “I’ll take the secrets on the pages and I’ll study them and they’ll change my life” (296).

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