Speak

Melinda is told to stay after school for extra help but deceives her parents and cleans out the closet she plans to spend time in. She hangs a poster of Maya Angelou, brings in some books, and uses the time to read or play movies over in her mind. Melinda’s physiological stress symptoms worsen as she wakes up with her jaw clenched and head aching. She still cannot speak to teachers or her parents and feels like she has “some kind of spastic laryngitis” (51). Melinda wishes desperately that she could confess what happened at the party and feels like she is being eaten from the inside. She finds the closet safe because she can hold her secrets “where no one can hear them” (51). Melinda’s closet slowly becomes a symbol of the truth she carries about her experience and how it isolates her from the world.

Melinda’s Spanish teacher uses English to threaten her class with detention if they do not start doing their homework. Melinda decides detention is worse than conjugating verbs and writes a list of some of the words she has to conjugate. The list includes words like “flunk,” “hide,” “escape,” and “forget,” showcasing Melinda’s desire to escape the trauma she experienced.

Melinda scoffs at the concept of Job Day and thinking about her future. She is only concerned about “making it out of ninth grade alive” (53) and is amazed to witness Heather plan out the next 10 years of her life in 10 seconds. Everyone takes a career test, and Melinda’s results indicate she should seek a career in forestry, communication, firefighting, or mortuary science. She is unsure what to do with these results, but Heather tells her she should become a nurse, and Heather knows exactly what to do.

In social studies class, Mr. Neck begins a long rant about immigration and his view of its effects on American citizens. He tells the students that his son could not get a job as a firefighter due to “some kind of reverse discrimination” (54) and believes the American borders should be closed. Melinda finds the speech boring and turns to her doodle of a pine tree instead. Mr. Neck encourages the students to debate whether the borders should have been closed in 1900. The debate fires up when many realize that would have meant never being born in America. One student accuses Mr. Neck of being wrong, wondering if his son was simply underqualified. When Mr. Neck realizes he is losing, he shuts down the dialogue. David Petrakis calls him out as xenophobic and racist, references the constitution, and proudly walks to the principal’s office without another word. Melinda admires his bravery and decides to pay more attention to him from now on.

Melinda offers a detailed description of her drama-filled Thanksgiving at home. Her dad is home for the holiday and bumming around the house, and her mother forgets to thaw the turkey. She starts soaking it in water but is soon called out to the store for work. Melinda’s father takes over, hacking the frozen turkey in the backyard and then washing it with detergent. He attempts to make soup out of what is salvageable, but the result is horrid, and as Melinda predicts at the beginning of Part 2, Chapter, he orders pizza instead. Melinda’s parents regularly neglect her, and they display serious incompetence at basic parenting tasks when they are around. Melinda silently watches the day unfold, never saying a word.

Melinda digs the bones from the failed turkey out of the garbage and brings them to art class. She feels connected to the turkey's sacrifice; it died only to be wasted and never eaten. Melinda spends two periods arranging and rearranging the bones until she settles on a sculpture that symbolizes herself. The bones are glued as if they are still a bird, an old Barbie doll head is glued to the top, and a fork and knife are glued on as legs. Mr. Freeman analyzes the pieces and congratulates Melinda on her accomplishment. At the same time, Melinda’s old friend, Ivy, compliments her as well. Melinda speaks to Mr. Freeman, asking for some twigs to use as arms. Overall, the moment is one of expression and a step toward having a voice again.

Melinda enjoys her biology class with Ms. Keen, spending the period dissecting an apple. Every student is handed one, and as they begin to slice them, the scent of apples fills the air. It takes Melinda back to one of her only happy memories with her parents, in which they took her to an apple orchard and let her sit in one of the trees. Her parents seemed happy, and Melinda felt like she was “falling up into a storybook” (66). When she slices her apple open in class, she discovers that one of its seeds has already sprouted and is growing another apple tree from within the apple. When she shows her discovery to Ms. Keen, she receives extra credit.

In social studies class, David Petrakis brings a tape recorder to attempt to catch Mr. Neck in one of his prejudicial lectures. Mr. Neck behaves but glares at David the whole time. In the office, Melinda overhears a discussion and finds out that David is planning to sue Mr. Neck for civil rights violations and incompetence at his job. The next day, David brings a video camera to capture the glares from Mr. Neck, and Melinda once again notes her admiration for David.

At the winter assembly, Melinda looks around to find everyone in seasonal attire. She sits with Heather and watches as the event unfolds. Principal Principal announces the winner of the school team name poll: the Wombats. Melinda laughs when she overhears the cheerleaders struggling to rhyme with the new name after the assembly.

Melinda sets up the Christmas tree by herself two days before Christmas. On Christmas day, the family sleeps in until noon and then hands presents to each other. Melinda receives a new sketch pad and charcoal; her parents remark that they have noticed her drawing lately. Melinda starts crying, feeling relieved that her parents still notice her. She considers telling her parents everything about the party, but a snowball grows in her throat, and she cannot even thank them for her gifts. Melinda remembers coming home in the middle of the night after the party to an empty house; her parents each returned later at different times and in separate vehicles. Melinda “showered until the hot water was gone” (72) and lay in bed awake.

Over the holidays, Melinda is not allowed to relax; instead, she has to accompany her parents to work despite being underage for employment. At her mother’s work, she is asked to fold shirts in the basement but spends time reading instead. Her mother is exhausted, her skin is tired and gray, and Melinda feels undue guilt for not helping more. At her father’s work, she watches as he sits behind an insurance salesman’s desk, calling friends all day. He has Melinda stuff envelopes with calendars, and when she cuts her tongue on one, the face of her perpetrator flashes into her mind. She is sent into a moment of mental shock and bleeds all over the calendars. Her father tells her she needs professional help.

In gym class, Melinda’s teacher discovers that she is extremely skilled at foul shots. Melinda does it without thinking or caring but does not want to join the basketball team. Her gym teacher does not seem to sense this and asks her to stay after class and show off her skills. Melinda does so, but when her teacher finds out that her grades are too low to join the team, her teacher looks for a way to get Melinda onto the team. Melinda cannot bring herself to speak up and tell her teacher that she has no desire to join the basketball team.

Melinda’s art class turns around, and everyone seems to be flourishing. She enjoys the freedom in the class and notices many students stay long after school ends to continue their projects. Mr. Freeman is working on his own painting, which continues to transform and evolve as the year goes on and shows several school board members imprisoned behind their own school walls. Melinda decides to carve a tree out of a linoleum block but struggles to make it look real. Despite this, she perseveres, musing, “Maybe I’ll be an artist if I grow up” (78).

Heather invites Melinda over to tell her how distraught she is about being nearly kicked out of the Marthas group. Heather was tasked with gluing hearts to pillows for a project and did the job clumsily. In a desperate attempt to remain in good standing, she offered to ask her artistic friend (Melinda) to help create posters for the Canned Food Drive. Heather croons at Melinda’s talent, buttering her up to agree. Melinda feels she has no choice but to help.

Frog dissection day arrives in biology class. Melinda watches as David pins down the female frog by its legs as it lies on its back, dead. She raises her knife to cut it, and suddenly memories of her experience start flooding back—smells, sights, sounds. She cannot handle it, and everything goes black. When she awakes, she learns that she fainted and hit her head on the desk. She wishes that a doctor cut the memories out of her head.

Heather starts modeling for a department store at the local mall. She asks Melinda to accompany her to the first shoot. Heather and some other girls model bathing suits while the photographer encourages them to act sexy. Melinda finds the affair somewhat disturbing but always supports Heather’s endeavors. When Heather’s mother asks Melinda if she wants to be a model, she says nothing, but in her mind knows that she does. Melinda feels that she eats too much and that the scabs on her lips would prevent that from happening; she remarks on how Heather has been crash dieting. Before leaving the mall, Melinda purchases some black nail polish.

Melinda’s algebra teacher strives to make his students aware of algebra’s usefulness in everyday life, so each class he brings a “new Real-Life Application” (84) to illustrate this point. Melinda zones out for these lectures, finding it difficult to relate real-world objects to Xs and Ys.

Melinda’s English teacher has her students writing essays on topics of varying interest to Melinda, but with each passing essay, they seem to be getting worse. Her teacher also begins teaching grammar, which Melinda finds painfully dull. She hopes her teacher will be subbed out soon, joking that she would help pay for it.

Melinda creates the posters for Heather inside her closet, enjoying the peace and the chance to use her skills. She even takes advantage of the opportunity to hang the posters and help improve her reputation at the school. As she does so, IT (her perpetrator) slinks up behind her and whispers, “Freshmeat” (86) in her ear. Melinda can smell him and feels nauseous as she realizes he has not forgotten that night.

Melinda’s parents discover her grades are still dismal and explode at her. She is grounded and stripped of all privileges. A blizzard howls outside, symbolizing the storm happening in her home and inside her. Melinda eventually escapes it by doing her homework and going to bed but chooses to sleep in her closet instead. On this night, her self-harm (lip biting) reaches a new level when she unfolds a paper clip and uses it to make tiny slits in her wrist. She insults herself, calling it a pitiful attempt to seek help. She observes that “it looks like [she] arm wrestled a rosebush” (87). The next morning, her mother notices the marks but says nothing other than, “I don’t have time for this, Melinda” (88). Melinda’s mother seems angry rather than concerned and is upset that Melinda seemingly has something to say that she is withholding.

During lunch at school, Melinda and Heather sit with the Marthas. Heather is told that she is not collecting enough cans, the beets she contributed are not good enough, and that Melinda's posters are a joke. Heather again does not stand up for Melinda, and Melinda starts to feel angry with Heather. While this conversation occurs, Andy Evans, Melinda’s perpetrator, walks into the cafeteria. One of the Marthas, named Emily, starts fawning over him and flirting as he approaches and stands behind Melinda. He begins twirling Melinda’s hair, taunting and tormenting her while she is unable to speak. She dashes to the bathroom and throws up, and Heather never comes to check on her.

Mr. Freeman is found to have given every single student an A and gets in trouble with the board. He stops painting, and the classroom grows cold as he sits silent and depressed. As Melinda continues attempting to carve her tree, she cuts herself instead. After treating the wound, Mr. Freeman takes Melinda’s carving chisel over to his painting and slashes it in half, shocking the entire class. Melinda’s next report card is much like the first, except her grades have dropped even lower. She maintains her A in art.