The Bald Soprano

“There, it’s nine o’clock. We’ve drunk the soup, and eaten the fish and chips, and the English salad. The children have drunk English water. We’ve eaten well this evening. That’s because we live in the suburbs of London and because our name is Smith.”

This opening line of the play, spoken by Mrs. Smith, continues the parody of the hyper-English setting and sense of English cultural identity. It also introduces the stylized language taken from Ionesco’s English language primer. Here, Mrs. Smith recounts simple facts to her husband, such as their name and where they live, that Mr. Smith should already know. While reminiscent of the way language textbooks introduce conversation, it also speaks to larger themes of the struggle to communicate beyond a surface-level, even with loved ones.

“Mr. Smith [still reading his paper]: Tsk, it says here that Bobby Watson died.

Mrs. Smith: My God, the poor man! When did he die?

Mr. Smith: Why do you pretend to be astonished? You know very well that he’s been dead these past two years [...] It wasn’t in the paper. It’s been three years since his death was announced. I remembered it through an association of ideas. [...] Poor Bobby, he’d been dead for four years and he was still warm. A veritable living corpse. And how cheerful he was!

Mrs. Smith: Poor Bobby.

Mr. Smith: Which poor Bobby do you mean?

Mrs. Smith: It is his wife that I mean. She is called Bobby, too, Bobby Watson. Since they both had the same name, you could never tell one from the other when you saw them together. It was only after his death that you could really tell which was which. And there are still people today who confuse her with the deceased and offer their condolences to him.”

One of the most extensive, nonsensical conversations in the play regards the death of Bobby Watson. This exchange between Mr. and Mrs. Smith evades logic and is full of contradictions and non-sequitur statements, from how long ago Bobby Watson died, to the fact Mr. and Mrs. Bobby Watson’s shared names making them difficult to tell apart visually. This farcical humor is even further exaggerated as the exchange continues and it’s revealed that there are many Bobby Watsons with relatives named Bobby Watson.

“Mrs. Smith: And when is there no competition?

Mr. Smith: On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Tuesdays.

Mrs. Smith: Ah! Three days a week? And what does Bobby Watson do on those days?

Mr. Smith: He rests, he sleeps.”

Here, logic is made absurd by the repetition of Tuesday as a third day of the week. This statement about the days of the week is reminiscent of the English primer language style Ionesco evokes throughout the play, perhaps playing on how a slight language mistake one might make when learning a new language can reveal the fallibility of meaning in our absurd world.

“Mrs. Smith: Men are all alike! You sit there all day long, a cigarette in your mouth, or you powder your nose and rouge your lips, fifty times a day, or else you drink like a fish.

Mr. Smith: But what would you say if you saw men acting like women do, smoking all day long, powdering, rouging their lips, drinking whisky?”

The Bald Soprano parodies social conventions, such as class and gender, by giving normative conventions an absurdist twist. This statement on gender follows a traditional battle between husband and wife about the behavior of men and women. However, the statements absurdly subvert masculine and feminine gender norms by combining the two, then repeating these same activities as if they are different, until it’s no longer clear how men and women behave differently.

“Mary: [entering] I’m the maid. I have spent a very pleasant afternoon. I’ve been to the cinema with a man and I’ve seen a film with some women. After the cinema, we went to drink some brandy and milk and then read the newspaper. Mrs. Smith: I hope that you’ve spent a pleasant afternoon, that you went to the cinema with a man and that you drank some brandy and milk.”

When Mary enters the play, she describes her day similarly to the way Mrs. Smith recited facts to Mr. Smith at the beginning of the play. Mrs. Smith replies in a similarly artificial way, reciting back the same details Mary stated. This strange way of conversing adds to the play’s absurdity and highlights how, despite attending to social niceties and expressing positive wishes, the characters in the play are ultimately unable to communicate authentically or effectively.

“Mary: Mr. and Mrs. Martin, your guests, are at the door. They were waiting for me. They didn’t dare come in by themselves. They were supposed to have dinner with you this evening.

Mrs. Smith: Oh yes. We were expecting them. And we were hungry. Since they didn’t put in an appearance, we were going to start dinner without them. We’ve had nothing to eat all day. You should not have gone out!

Mary: But it was you who gave me permission.

Mr. Smith: We didn’t do it on purpose.”

In this absurd parody of manners, the Martins rudely arrive late, seemingly because they were trying to be too polite by not entering the home without being let in by the maid. We also see a shift in the logic of the play as the Smiths announce they haven’t yet eaten, when they were just discussing their dinner. This highlights the fragmentation of identity, as discussed in the theme Alienation, Identity, and Human Connection. Here, we also see a critique of social class, as the Smiths admonish their maid for doing exactly what she was permitted to do.

“Mr. Martin [in the same drawling monotonous voice]: How curious it is and what a coincidence! And bizarre! Perhaps they are the same, dear lady!

Mrs. Martin: How curious it is! It is indeed possible, dear sir. [A rather long moment of silence. The clock strikes 29 times.]

Mr. Martin: [after having reflected at length, gets up slowly and, unhurriedly, moves toward Mrs. Martin, who, surprised by his solemn air, has also gotten up very quietly. Mr. Martin, in the same flat, monotonous voice, slightly sing-song]:

Then, dear lady, I believe that there can be no doubt about it, we have seen each other before and you are my own wife […] Elizabeth, I have found you again! [Mrs. Martin approaches Mr. Martin without haste. They embrace without expression. The clock strikes once, very loud. This striking of the clock must be so loud that it makes the audience jump. The Martins do not hear it.]

Mrs. Martin: Donald, it’s you, darling!”

This absurd exchange between Mr. and Mrs. Martin parodies the struggle to truly connect with other humans, especially loved ones such as one’s life partner. Not only are the Martins so disconnected from one another that they aren’t even sure who the other is, but they are also content to accept that they’re partners without having any sense of connection or cherished memories together. This is emphasized by their expressionless embrace—there seems to be no true love or connection in this marriage. Meanwhile, the clock is starting to get antsy and begins striking many, many times to draw attention to this strange drama between the Martins, adding to the chaos and sense that time is collapsing on stage.

“Thus, all of Donald’s system of deduction collapses when it comes up against this last obstacle which destroys his whole theory. In spite of the extraordinary coincidences which seem to be definitive proofs, Donald and Elizabeth, not being the parents of the same child, are not Donald and Elizabeth. It is in vain that he thinks he is Donald, it is in vain that she thinks she is Elizabeth. He believes in vain that she is Elizabeth. She believes in vain that he is Donald—they are sadly deceived. But who is the true Donald? Who is the true Elizabeth? Who has any interest in prolonging this confusion? I don’t know. Let’s not try to know. Let’s leave things as they are. [She takes several steps toward the door, then returns and says to the audience:] My real name is Sherlock Holmes. [She exits].”

Right after the Martins realize they’re husband and wife, Mary the maid shifts reality further into absurdity by revealing that, despite the evidence, Mr. and Mrs. Martin are not, indeed, who they think they are. Her monologue about the collapse of logic echoes absurdist philosophy about the irrational nature of life and the futile quest for meaning, as there is no meaning or truth in our world. The reference to Sherlock Holmes also furthers the parody of Englishness in the play, while suggesting that Mary, despite being looked down upon by the rest of the characters for her lower social class, possesses greater wit and clarity of thought than the rest of the group.

“[The clock strikes as much as it likes.]”

This stage direction points to the absurdity of time in the play. While the clock has struck an improbable amount of times throughout the play, here it is given full agency to strike to its heart’s desire. This agency for the clock highlights how time operates on its own terms in the play, reminding the audience that time itself is a social construct.

“[The doorbell rings.]

Mr. Smith: Goodness, someone is ringing.

Mrs. Smith: There must be somebody there. I’ll go and see. [She goes to see, she opens the door and closes it, and comes back.] Nobody. [She sits down again.]

Mr. Martin: I’m going to give you another example…

[Doorbell rings again]

Mr. Smith: Goodness, someone is ringing.

Mrs. Smith: There must be somebody there. I’ll go and see. [She goes to see, opens the door, and comes back.] No one. [She sits down again.].”

This exchange shows how repetition is used in the play to create farcical comedy. Repetition of the exact same words, actions, and results creates further absurdity, as the characters seem unaware that they’re caught in a loop.

“Mr. Martin: Oh! You women! You always stand up for each other. [...]

Mrs. Smith: Oh these men who always think they’re right and who’re always wrong.”

In The Bald Soprano, the characters often bicker about the way men and women behave in a parody of social conventions. However, this division between Mr. Martin and Mrs. Smith’s opinions also points to the subjectivity of experience, a key theme in absurdist philosophy. Although Mr. Martin and Mrs. Smith are watching the same events unfold, they have very different opinions about what these events mean.

“Don’t make jokes, Mr. Fire Chief. This business is too sad.”

Mrs. Smith utters these lines when the Fire Chief admits to hiding as a joke while ringing the doorbell, causing Mrs. Smith to believe no one was there. However, this statement also highlights the tension between comedy and tragedy in the play since this is a “tragedy of language” told through farcical comedy. Though the sadness Mrs. Smith refers to here is absurd, as she is only referring to a nonsensical argument about doorbells, Ionesco is making a deeper point about the painfully absurd plight of the alienation of society and the struggles of humankind.

“Mrs. Smith: Go see the Durands.

Fire Chief: I can’t do that either. He’s not English. He’s only been naturalized. And naturalized citizens have the right to have houses, but not to have them put out if they’re burning.”

Here, Ionesco uses an absurd and exaggerated statement to parody nationalism and cultural biases. In the world of the play, Englishness reigns supreme and to not be English means to not have basic rights, such as the right to have your burning house extinguished.

“Mr. Smith: And what is even more interesting is the fact that firemen’s stories are all true, and they’re based on experience.

Fire Chief: I speak from my own experiences. Truth, nothing but the truth. No fiction.

Mr. Martin: That’s right. Truth is never found in books, only in life.”

The Fire Chief represents a figure of heroic authority to the characters. Yet another parody of social conformity and convention, they assume that this means the Fire Chief’s stories will utter poignant truths. This belief is proved absurd as the Fire Chief launches into his stories, which are all nonsensical moral fables with no clear meaning or logic.

“Fire Chief [coughs slightly several times:] Excuse me, don’t look at me that way. You embarrass me. You know that I am shy.

Mrs. Smith: Isn’t he charming! [she kisses him.]

Fire Chief: I’m going to try to begin anyhow. But promise me that you won’t listen.

Mrs. Martin: But if we don’t listen to you we won’t hear you.

Fire Chief: I didn’t think of that!”

Embarrassment is a strong motif in The Bald Soprano, adding to the difficulty of communication as language and meaning disintegrate throughout the play. Here, the Fire Chief struggles with a desire to disappear and save himself from embarrassment, or persevere and have his stories be heard. This parodies the way self-consciousness can get in the way of true human connection. Ironically, characters never truly hear one another in this play and their attempts at connection prove futile anyway.

“Fire Chief: Ah, I don’t know whether I’ll be able to. I’m on official business. It depends on what time it is.

Mrs. Smith: We don’t have the time, here.

Fire Chief: But the clock?

Mr. Smith: It runs badly. It is contradictory, and always indicates the opposite of what the hour really is.”

In The Bald Soprano, the Fire Chief is the only character who keeps track of time. The others are at the mercy of the Smiths’ clock, which has a mind of its own. This could be because, unlike the Fire Chief, the Smiths have no clear occupation and therefore have the luxury to spend their time as they please. This absurd logic of time also contributes to the sense of absurdity in the play by showing a world where time is meaningless.

“Mr. Martin: I believe that our friends’ maid is going crazy…she wants to tell us a story, too.

Fire Chief: Who does she think she is? [He looks at her.] Oh!”

In a satire on social class, the characters all grow offended when Mary the maid tries to join the group for some storytelling. While the Fire Chief is presented as a hero and is the only character who is even somewhat on Mary’s side in the play, even the Fire Chief is susceptible to social conformity and biased thoughts on social class. He likewise is offended by the bold behavior of a maid, until he realizes Mary is actually someone he is fond of. This also highlights the ultimate emptiness of the Fire Chief’s affections, as he is so quick to judge a maid by her social class and likewise condemn her for wanting to tell a story.

“Mr. Smith: “This is too much, here, in our home, in the suburbs of London.”

This is another example of repetition in the play. Mr. Smith repeats the same fact about living in the suburbs of London that Mrs. Smith announced at the beginning of the play, in exactly the same style of excessive, basic detail reminiscent of an English language primer. Here, their home’s location is used to express a haughty disdain for the way Mary the maid embraces the Fire Chief, in a parody of social class biases.

“Mr. Smith: Hm…hm…you two are very touching, but at the same time, a little…a little…

Mr. Martin: Yes, that’s exactly the word.

Mr. Smith: …A little too exhibitionistic…

Mr. Martin: There is a native British modesty—forgive me for attempting, yet again, to define my thought—not understood by foreigners, even by specialists, thanks to which, if I may thus express myself… of course, I don’t mean to refer to you….”

This comedic exchange shows flavors of absurdity, as well as parody of English nationalism, ideals, and sense of superiority. Absurdity comes in the way Mr. Martin agrees with Mr. Smith’s word choice before Mr. Smith has even uttered his chosen word—as if the actual words expressed do not matter—as well as in the way Mr. Martin apologizes for expressing himself and then trails off just before expressing himself. This absurdity helps draw attention to the even greater absurdity of the nationalistic statement about “native British modesty” by placing this statement in tandem with the other absurd statements.

“Mrs. Martin: This morning when you looked at yourself in the mirror you didn’t see yourself.

Mr. Martin: That’s because I wasn’t there yet […].”

While this statement creates comedy through its absurdity, it also highlights a pervasive sense of alienation and lack of identity lurking beneath all the comedy in the play. The Martins are so devoid of personality and character, and have such difficulty remembering their experiences, that even their mirror image is not always reflected back to them.

“Fire Chief: I thought it was marvelous.

Mrs. Smith: All the same…

Mr. Smith: You’re exaggerating.

Fire Chief: Just a minute…I admit…all this is very subjective…but this is my conception of the world. My world. My dream. My ideal….”

Here, the Fire Chief expresses his admiration for Mary’s poem, “The Fire,” written in honor of the Fire Chief himself. His monologue about subjective opinion echoes absurdist philosophy about the experience of subjective reality. Since life has no true meaning, meaning is only ascribed based on subjective experiences of reality. The Fire Chief makes this argument to support why he thought the poem was marvelous, even if the other characters did not.

“Thanks to you, we have passed a truly Cartesian quarter of an hour.”

This line, said by Mrs. Martin, compares the absurd stories the group has been telling with a profound and deep sense of thought. “Cartesian” refers to Réne Descartes’s famous philosophical statement “I think, therefore I am.” Mrs. Martin suggests that the Fire Chief’s absurd moral fables have helped the group become more aware of their own existence by inspiring deep thought. This is ironic since the characters are only ever muddling through unthinkable absurdity, where meaning, identity, and sense of self remain perpetually evasive.

“Fire Chief: [moving towards the door, then stopping]: Speaking of that—the bald soprano? [General silence, embarrassment.]

Mrs. Smith: She always wears her hair in the same style.

Fire Chief: Ah! Then goodbye, ladies and gentlemen.

Mr. Martin: Good luck, and a good fire!”

Before departing, the Fire Chief asks about the bald soprano, to everyone’s embarrassment. This is the one time the title of the play is mentioned. The exchange, as well as the title itself, has no particular meaning. It just furthers the absurdity of the piece.