The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

Bungay Stanier claims the AWE Question, “And what else?” is the best coaching question one could ask because it leads to better decisions, buys time, and continues to rein in a manager’s urge to take over the conversation. The question facilitates a deeper investigation into a topic of conversation, which is important because generally, a person’s first answer is not always the root of a problem. In other words, “And what else?” prompts the employee to be more engaged. Bungay Stanier points to research that shows the relative inefficacy of asking simple binary questions that yield either “yes” or “no.” Asking “And what else?” yields more detailed answers, which ultimately lead to better decisions.

The AWE question preempts the manager from giving advice, which if habitual, will lead to codependency; employees will lean on the manager rather than solve problems on their own. The comfort of offering advice can be enticing for managers, even if their advice is inaccurate. Managers often offer advice out of habit or because this is what feels right to them. Bungay Stanier points to doctor-patient interactions in which doctors can fall into the same interrupting pattern. The AWE question helps curtail this impulse. Bungay Stanier recommends asking the AWE question three to five times at most, recognizing the limitation of asking it too much. Citing research on consumer behavior, Bungay Stanier argues that asking the question too many times can overwhelm the recipient; it can lead to a paradox of choice, a term coined by psychologist Barry Schwartz in a book with the same name. Bungay Stanier claims the question is effective in multiple settings and then presents hypothetical scenarios to prove this point.

In the workbook section, Bungay Stanier asks the reader to consider what situations trigger the urge to give advice. He then asks the reader to reflect on how they will build a new habit and guides them toward incorporating the AWE question. Toward the end of this chapter, he highlights studies on the subject and how it informs the coaching principles of Box of Crayons, his company that specializes in management training. The first study shows that offering a student the chance to change a true or false answer made them more reflective. The second study supports the earlier idea that simple binary questions are not revealing; however, they can be expanded on with follow-up questions like the AWE question.