The Collected Regrets of Clover

On a rainy day, Clover visits Claudia for the third time. Claudia suggests a photography lesson and reveals her knowledge of her terminal condition, explaining that her family is unaware that she knows. Clover also admits her role as a death doula and offers support, which Claudia appreciates. They decide to continue the photography lessons, and Claudia expresses her desire for Clover to keep visiting, finding her presence captivating. Clover now grapples with deeper personal involvement in Claudia’s situation.

Leaving Claudia’s place, Clover grapples with resentment about being embroiled in the family’s secrets. She calls Sebastian and admits that Claudia has discovered the lie about her condition. Sebastian is initially nonchalant, which upsets Clover because he does not consider Clover’s uncomfortable position. She expresses how she feels, and he apologizes, then surprises Clover by inviting her for a drink, and she tentatively accepts, feeling a mix of anticipation and apprehension, unsure of Sebastian’s intentions. She wonders whether this is a date or just a professional meeting. Clover contemplates Sylvie’s advice about taking a risk.

As Clover prepares to meet with Sebastian, she borrows a dress from Sylvie. She meets him at a bar, grappling with anxiety and discomfort. Sebastian is late when they enter the dimly lit bar, and a chance encounter with a former fling of his adds to the awkwardness. They have drinks, and Clover continues to be uncertain about the nature of their relationship. After sharing stories and getting to know each other better, they decide to leave the bar. When they’re undercharged for their drinks, Sebastian shrugs it off, but Clover slips the server $20. An unexpected kiss takes place at the subway entrance, interrupted by a catcall. Flustered, Clover gets on the subway, leaving Sebastian behind.

Clover grapples with emotions and confusion following her first kiss with Sebastian. She visits Claudia to discuss end-of-life planning and suggests creating a death binder. Claudia shows interest in the practical aspects of planning and shares her desire to be cremated and have her ashes scattered in Corsica. The conversation touches on friendships, and Clover reveals her loner tendencies, explaining her upbringing by her grandfather after her parents’ death. Claudia reacts empathetically, recognizing the challenge of growing up without a mother. Clover reflects on the absence of maternal guidance in her life.

Clover meets Leo for a game of mahjong, where they share drinks and discuss her new job with Claudia. Clover mentions her budding friendship with Sylvie, and Leo encourages it, discussing Sylvie’s hidden interest in neighborhood gossip. Reflecting on her upbringing and relationship with her grandfather, Clover asks Leo how her grandfather felt about raising her. Leo tells Clover that her grandfather’s determination stemmed from his desire to make up for having neglected Clover’s mother due to prioritizing work. This new insight provides Clover with a better understanding of her grandfather’s motivation. The chapter ends with Clover watching the neighbors living in the apartment across from hers, whom she has named Julia and Reuben, through binoculars to find solace in their relationship.

Clover agrees to join Sylvie in a dance class called Sensual Synch. Sylvie reassures her, but Clover is apprehensive about her lack of rhythm. The class surprises her with sultry ambiance, candles, and sensual moves. Clover overcomes her initial reticence and decides to participate for Sylvie’s sake. As she dances, Clover begins to feel liberated, and by the end of the class, she embraces the newfound connection with her body. The experience leaves her feeling euphoric and more in touch with herself.

Clover is surprised by Sebastian’s multiple calls. When she finally answers, he invites her and Claudia to his cello quartet concert. Claudia dresses up, and they attend the concert, enjoying Sebastian’s music. After the performance, Clover compliments Sebastian’s performance, leaving the encounter uncertain about her feelings but closer to Sebastian than before.

Claudia is in pain when Clover visits her. She shares stories from her photojournalism career, showing Clover a box of old photographs. The images capture important moments from Claudia’s life, particularly during her time in France and Tunisia. Claudia becomes emotional when seeing a photo of a young man named Hugo Beaufort, with whom she had a romantic connection before getting married to another man.

Clover and Sylvie discuss Clover’s job while waiting in line at a SoHo restaurant. They explore topics such as end-of-life conversations and the possibility of hearing while unconscious. Clover shares a story about a coma patient overhearing a secret that led to changes in his will. Intrigued, Sylvie asks for more stories. Clover tells Sylvie about Claudia’s encounter with a young Frenchman named Hugo Beaufort in Marseille. Sylvie is intrigued, and the two of them talk about the lasting impact of such a connection.

Clover reflects on the unpredictability of impending death. She visits Claudia, whose condition has rapidly deteriorated. Claudia shares her regrets, including the resentment she felt in her earlier years due to the sacrifices she made for her family. Claudia also recounts the brief but meaningful ten days she spent with Hugo and how he made her feel alive and free. Clover listens and holds her hand, pondering how to help Claudia relieve at least one of her regrets before her time runs out.