The Collected Regrets of Clover

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes frank discussions of death and prolonged grief, as well as brief discussions of alcohol addiction.

“Amid the exhaust fumes and pungent blend of dried fish and tamarind, the scent of death still lingered in my nostrils. I don’t mean the odor of a body decomposing—I never really had to deal with that, since I only ever sat with the dying as they hovered on the threshold between this world and the next. I’m talking about that other scent, the distinct smell when death is imminent.”

In this quote, the description of the setting, including the “exhaust fumes” and the specific aromas of “dried fish and tamarind,” creates an immersive atmosphere. This vivid sensory description highlights the stark contrast between the ordinary, bustling world of the city and the profound experiences Clover has encountered as a death doula. Furthermore, the passage emphasizes Clover’s developed sensitivity to the imminent passing of the clients she accompanies. It is not the physical decay of a body that lingers in Clover’s memory, but the intangible and metaphysical presence of death itself.

“The most important thing is never to look away from someone’s pain. Not just the physical pain of their body shutting down, but the emotional pain of watching their life end while knowing they could have lived it better. Giving someone the chance to be seen at their most vulnerable is much more healing than any words. And it was my honor to do that […].”

Clover’s statement about never looking away from someone’s pain highlights the central theme of the novel: the importance of confronting regrets, accepting mortality, and acknowledging the emotional complexities surrounding death. Clover’s narrative voice is characterized by empathy and a profound understanding of human suffering, which she transmits to the readers.

“When I first started working as a death doula, I’d naively tried to get people to focus on all the positive things about their life—all the things they should be grateful for. But when someone has spent their years angry at the world, death just feels like one final cruel blow. Eventually, I realized that it wasn’t my job to help them gloss over that reality if they didn’t want to; it was to sit with them, listen, and bear witness. Even if they were unhappy right up until their final exhale, at least they weren’t alone.”

This quote reflects a significant shift in Clover’s approach to working as a death doula. It emphasizes the evolution of her understanding that her role is not to impose a particular perspective on her clients but to provide compassionate companionship and a non-judgmental presence during their end-of-life journey.