The Cost of Knowing

Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2021

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Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-4

Chapters 5-8

Chapters 9-12

Chapter 13-Epilogue

Character Analysis

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

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Discussion Questions

Chapter 13-EpilogueChapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 13 Summary: “The Past”

Alex sees himself and Isaiah listening to music in Alex’s bedroom and realizes that he’s lucid dreaming. He hugs Isaiah tight and tells him that he loves him. Alex wakes up in a hospital bed with Aunt Mackie asleep in a chair beside him. Through tears, he asks a nurse if Isaiah is dead, but she gently tells him that she should wait to discuss that when his aunt is awake. Alex considers the irony of the implication that he isn’t mature enough to take the news considering all he’s been through. Talia comes to visit him, and he allows himself to sob into her shoulder and hold her close. She apologizes for getting mad at Alex and leaving him at the concert, and he apologizes for not being honest with her about his visions, his emotions, and Shaun’s death. He promises to be open with her from now on and asks her to tell him if she ever sees him lapsing into his self-isolating habits.

Aunt Mackie wakes up, and Talia leaves so that she can talk to her nephew. Alex expects his aunt to be furious with him and hold him partially responsible for his brother’s death because he took Isaiah to the concert, but her expression holds only exhaustion and sorrow, not anger. Aunt Mackie tells Alex that Mr. Zaccari turned himself in after he hit Isaiah. Alex is full of rage at his brother’s murderer and at himself for trusting the Zaccaris “enough to mow their lawn and eat their cookies and let them hug [him]” (288). Alex wants to find a way to make Mrs. Zaccari and others like her realize their privilege and prejudice. His aunt holds him close and tells him that’s not a burden he can shoulder by himself. Alex admits to himself that she’s right. He takes deep breaths and finds comfort in reminding himself that he was able to make Isaiah’s last days joyful and that his brother “knew he wasn’t alone” in the end (292).

Chapter 14 Summary: “The Reunion”

Looking back on the past two days, Alex realizes that he wouldn’t change any of his choices. He looks at the photo of his family at the Bulls game, notes the joy and hope in Isaiah’s expression in the picture, and feels “grateful [he] got to see that life in his face again” (294). Isaiah’s casket is covered with red flowers because he triumphantly proclaimed himself Izzy the Red Dragon at the concert. Alex confronts Mrs. Zaccari at the burial, saying, “Isaiah is dead because of the fear you foster” (296). He knows that Mrs. Zaccari saw the boys run past her house in the rain, grew suspicious, and sent her husband to investigate. Aunt Mackie asks Alex to wait to say more until they have a lawyer, but even she can’t contain her anger when Mrs. Zaccari dares to say that they’ve both lost children. Eli Zaccari is in jail for his part in a mass shooting, while the innocent Isaiah is dead because of Mr. Zaccari, and Aunt Mackie makes that distinction clear. Mrs. Zaccari makes a feeble attempt at an apology, but Alex calls her out on her racism and tells her goodbye.

Alex needs some time alone, so he and Aunt Mackie part after hugging and telling one another they love each other. He places the photograph on Isaiah’s casket and tells his little brother goodbye. Scoop offers Alex his job back, and Talia’s gaze lingers on her boyfriend as she leaves the cemetery, but Alex isn’t ready to talk to either of them. He sits beside his brother’s grave to think. An elderly man wearing a brown suit and glasses approaches him. When he shakes Alex’s hand, Alex has a vision of the man holding a young Isaiah on his lap and realizes that the man is his paternal grandfather, Harold. Next, he sees four more ancestors–a railroad worker named Daniel Alby, a batboy named Buddy Lyons, an enslaved man named John, and John’s son, Patience Truman. The men embrace Alex, and he buries his face in his hands and cries. Next, Alex’s father appears carrying Isaiah. Last, King Takaa appears, takes his hand, and speaks the Akoose word for “joy.” Alex answers with the Akoose word for “king.” The vision of his ancestors ends when Alex hears Talia call his name and ask if he’s all right. He assures her that he is now. When she invites him to spend some time with her, he reiterates that he isn’t ready for sex. She understands, thanks him for his honesty, and gives him a sticker from the Shiv Skeptic concert. Together, they leave the cemetery.

Chapter 15 Summary: “The Future”

A few weeks after Isaiah’s funeral, Talia and her mother find jobs at Ena’s consignment shop. Alex picks his girlfriend up at the end of her shift and offers to go to Shaun’s grave with her because it’s her brother’s birthday. A surprised Talia gladly accepts. Scoop texts Alex, asking if he can come back to work right away because another employee called in sick. Even though he was fired, Alex still feels anxious when he tells Scoop that he can’t come in that night. He helps Talia sort through some jewelry at the consignment shop and spots a heavy ring covered in diamonds. He recognizes the ring as the one worn by Scoop’s future owner in his vision. Ena gives the ring to him because he’s been through a great deal and deserves something beautiful. Alex realizes that he could buy the ice cream shop if he finds another job and saves his money for a few years. Feeling hopeful about the future, Alex texts Scoop his resignation.

Alex visits Shaun’s grave with Talia and apologizes to both Gomez siblings for not always being there for them when they needed him. Alex feels a sudden wave of love for Talia like the day when he first realized his feelings for her. He feels immensely grateful that the two of them made it “[t]hrough death. Through grief. Through a mass shooting. Through a curse” (320). He tells Talia that he loves her for the first time and she reciprocates. Alex hopes that he’ll make Shaun and Isaiah proud. He has the Akoose word for “king” tattooed on his palm to remind him of Isaiah, his ancestors, and his own potential. Without his visions, Alex knows that it is now up to him to decide who he becomes.

Alex and Talia have been to several concerts over the past few weeks, and he starts a new sticker collection on the ceiling above his bed. His favorite is the silver dragon sticker from the Shiv Skeptic concert. He feels that his ancestors and Isaiah are watching over him, and he wonders what his future holds.

Epilogue Summary

The narrative shifts from first-person to third-person point of view. Alex returns to his old neighborhood of East Garfield Park. He wears a diamond ring and feels “confident he’ll own a business one day” (323). He steps into a barbershop. Alex and a barber named Galen greet each other with warm smiles of recognition.

Chapter 13-Epilogue Analysis

In the novel’s final section, Alex looks back on his brother’s life and looks forward to his own future. In Chapter 13, Alex’s conversations with the nurse and Aunt Mackie explore the theme of The Pressure to Grow Up Too Soon. When the nurse tells him that she should wait to discuss Isaiah until his aunt is awake, he questions: “Why? Because I’m not ‘man enough’ to handle the news?” (283). The nurse’s efforts to shield him are ironic given that Alex has had to live with the foreknowledge of his brother’s death for days. Even more ironic, Isaiah is killed by a member of his neighborhood’s watch after surviving a mass shooting. The dichotomy raises the question of whom the watch is meant to protect—the community of Santiam Estates, which includes Isaiah, or the community from people who look like Isaiah. Isaiah is the second Black boy Mr. Zaccari kills in a single day, but the novel makes it clear that Mr. Zaccari’s murders are not an aberration but rather a symptom of a much more widespread problem.

Alex makes it abundantly clear that there is no such thing as a safe or acceptable degree of racism in Chapter 14. He refuses to coddle Mrs. Zaccari’s white fragility any longer and tells her that her prejudiced assumptions and the atmosphere of fear she fosters contributed to the violence perpetrated by her husband: “‘You’re both racists.’ She gasps and looks at me like I’ve just stabbed her in the chest” (299). Mrs. Zaccari’s reaction shows her insistence on playing the victim, even at the burial of a boy her husband murdered. She is more concerned with avoiding being labeled a racist than with acknowledging her responsibility in the recent deaths or working to oppose racism. In an important development for the theme of The Pressure to Grow Up Too Soon, Alex realizes that he is still a child. It’s not his responsibility to open the eyes of people like Mrs. Zaccari or to take on the impossible task of defending everyone he loves: “But one man can’t protect everyone [...] And a boy shouldn’t have to try” (300). After struggling to act like a man the entire novel, Alex learns to protect his peace and embrace his youth.

The novel ends as Alex’s final vision allows him to see Isaiah safe and happy with his ancestors. Takaa himself rejoices that the curse is broken, allowing Alex and future generations to act according to their free will, unburdened by fateful visions. In Chapter 15, Alex’s ring represents his growing hopes for his future and his belief in himself. The diamond-encrusted ring helps to bring the story full circle because it appeared in Alex’s vision of Scoop’s future owner back in Chapter 1. By accepting the ring and setting the goal of purchasing the ice cream shop in a few years, Alex asserts that he has the power to control his own narrative. His newfound freedom and courage helps him to make amends with Talia, face his fears, and find closure by visiting Shaun’s grave at last.

Alex’s tattoo also gives insight into his character development. The tattoo’s meaning encompasses all that he has learned over the course of the novel:

King, to remind me of the strength and beauty that I come from. King, to remind me what it means to be brave in spite of everything it means to be me. To give me resolve where there could be regret, and courage where there could be fear (321).

The tattoo’s placement is also significant. Alex’s visions were activated whenever his palms touched something, and he withdrew from the world as a result. Now the curse is broken, and his palm tattoo reminds him of his place in the world. Although the epilogue is brief, it’s important because it shows that the previously isolated Alex is reaching out to others and reestablishing relationships. Taking Aunt Mackie’s advice, he returns to his old neighborhood and reconnects with his confidante, Galen, at a barbershop. As the novel draws to a close, the final image of the protagonist is of a young man who has grown strong and hopeful despite his losses and no longer feels alone.