The Last Love Note: A Novel

The devastation of grief is a pervasive theme throughout the novel, and different characters offer perspectives on varying kinds of grief. Though Kate and Hugh have both dealt with losing one life’s partner, and that type of bereavement is the primary focus of Kate’s journey as a character, the novel also addresses losing a parent, the type of grief that attends illness or struggles with infertility, and the sorrow of watching a child grieve. These losses are shown to be related through the ways characters address and attempt to recover from their wounds.

Even while Cam is still alive, Kate must confront how his Alzheimer’s disease poses a loss, as she begins to grieve the end of their relationship as she knew it and learns how to deal with him in ways that accommodate his diminishing cognitive and physical capabilities. Cam’s illness makes Kate’s grief more complicated and also extends her loss, giving her that much more to recover from as she moves on to a new stage in her life.

Cam’s death is an event that completely changes Kate’s life, and her grief comes to define her for much of the book. She has identified herself as one-half of Kate and Cam, and without Cam, she doesn’t have a sense of her own identity. Not only does she feel overwhelming sorrow, but also, the centrality of this sorrow in her life makes her feel alienated from other people. In the opening scene at the supermarket, Kate thinks of herself as a different creature from the woman clad in gym attire who is buying soap; Kate feels incapable of accomplishing even those simple, daily tasks. These feelings are common in the newly bereaved and make Kate’s experiences as a character feel realistic. Also realistic is her sense of bewilderment as she tries to comprehend the scope of her loss, facing the reality that her husband no longer exists.

Kate’s wish to hold on to memories of Cam through physical records of him, like his voice on voicemail or the notes in his handwriting, are common reactions among bereaved people. The grieving person feels that to let go of these items that belonged to the loved one in some way shows acceptance of their death, which is intolerable in the early stages. It can also feel like they are denying the lost loved one a place in their life or rejecting their influence. Kate feels terrified at her own thoughts when she considers giving up Cam, such as when she bargains mentally for her baby’s life, or when, at the beach with Hugh, she confronts the possibility she may be attracted to, or even love, another man who is not Cam. This feels to her like a betrayal, another confirmation of her loss.

Kate observes that there are hierarchies that are in grief; the person closest to the deceased is awarded priority, and others who might be grieving, like friends and other family, put aside their feelings to care for the one they believe is grieving more. Kate, for example, has not even considered that her mother might also be grieving for Kate until Justin makes her aware of this. Though Hugh and Cam were friends, it likewise never occurs to Kate that Hugh might miss Cam in his own way. Kate believes that she loved Cam the most and her grief therefore takes priority. She acknowledges that Cam’s parents will be devastated by his illness, but Kate does not spend time thinking about how she might assist them through the process; she is consumed with maintaining her own functioning and taking care of Charlie.

Kate’s acknowledgment that grieving and recovery from grief are not smooth or linear processes also lends realism to the way grief is portrayed in the novel. She realizes, “You don’t recover from it. There is no ‘healed’ moment. You just absorb it into your new life, somehow, and go from there” (265). Literature on bereavement and dealing with loss often addresses how unresolved feelings can return, or one may circle through various stages in the grieving process. To define oneself by loss, however, or refuse to engage in life opportunities that do not include the lost loved one is rarely healthy. As Kate accepts the idea that her heart could heal enough for her to love another man, she has to find a way to accept this reality in terms of her belief that she will always love and miss Cam. This requires a renegotiation for her about how love and romance work, shifting her notion of a once-in-a-lifetime, two-halves-of-a-whole, happy-ending narrative.