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Part 4 begins with a quote from Alice Miller: “The aim of therapy is not to correct the past, but to enable the patient to confront his own history, and to grieve over it” (241).
Theo has just finished reading the last of Alicia’s diary in tandem with the reader, meaning both are on the same page now. The diary has left many questions unanswered, and Theo’s determined to get answers. First, there is the question of Dr. West, who treated Alicia privately after her father’s death and again in the weeks before Gabriel’s death. Theo wonders why Dr. West didn’t testify at Alicia’s trial; he would have made a valuable character witness. The reader is clueless, but Theo already seems to have the answer: He puts the diary in his pocket and goes to an office at The Grove—that of “DR C WEST” (244).
Christian is “DR C WEST.” Theo confronts him with what he has learned from Alicia’s diary. Christian reveals that Gabriel was an old school friend of his and asked him to treat Alicia secretly—first after Vernon’s death and then again when Alicia complained of a stalker. Gabriel paid Christian under the table, in cash, and Christian never declared this income. If Theo reports the incident, with Alicia’s diary as proof, Christian will lose his job and his license. Theo demands Christian tell him everything he knows about Alicia.
Christian describes Alicia as being “highly paranoid, delusional—psychotic, even” (249). When Theo brings up the stalker, Christian labels it “pure fantasy” and notes that Alicia had a history of delusions. She had previously accused an elderly man of spying on her and it had turned out the man was blind; she and Gabriel had to move as a result of the scandal. Christian also is skeptical regarding Alicia’s suicide attempt following Vernon’s death: “She took an overdose, more for show than anything else. She was ‘communicating’ her distress to Gabriel” (251). Theo concludes his conversation by saying he’s going to see Alicia to get answers.
Theo talks to Alicia. He reveals that he knows about Christian being Dr. West. He tells her that the diary raised questions. “Certain things don’t make sense, don’t fit with information I have from other sources. Now that you’ve allowed me to read it, I feel obliged to investigate further. I hope you understand that” (254). Alicia doesn’t reply, and he takes her silence as a yes. He gives her back the diary before leaving.
The narrative jumps back to the subplot of Kathy’s affair. Theo notes that she is getting careless and more obvious about her clandestine meetings with her lover. She tells him she’s going for a walk. He follows her to a park, where she meets a man and has sex with him in a wooded area. Theo hides, listening to Kathy moaning as she has sex with her lover.
Back in the present-day narrative, Theo confronts Jean-Felix with information he learned from Alicia’s diary—namely, that she was planning to leave his gallery. Theo also calls Max and tells him about the journal, informing him, “She said you had romantic feelings for her. I was wondering if—” (263). Max hangs up before Theo can go on. Theo then calls Paul, who agrees to meet him at a pub in Cambridge to talk. Theo plans to ask Paul about the night after Eva’s accident. Tanya had previously told Theo to ask Paul about this.
Theo meets Paul and confronts him with the information he now has from Alicia’s diary. Previously, Paul told Theo the last time he saw Alicia was at Vernon’s funeral. Theo now knows this was a lie, and that Paul and Alicia had met a few weeks before Gabriel’s murder when Paul asked Alicia for help with his gambling debts. Theo then tells Paul what Tanya told him—that he should ask about the night after Eva’s accident. Paul responds, “It’s probably nothing, but—it might help you understand Alicia […]” (268). He tells Theo he will show him and invites him back to Lydia’s house.
Paul takes Theo onto the roof of Lydia’s house. This is where he and Alicia used to hide as kids. On the night after Eva’s accident, they were sitting there when they witnessed Vernon having a meltdown. Paul was seven or eight at the time, and Alicia no more than 10. Vernon said, “Why did she have to die? Why didn’t Alicia die instead?” (271). Alicia looked at Paul and said, “He killed me. Dad just—killed me” (272). Theo is speechless: “This is what I’d been looking for. I’d found it, the missing piece of the jigsaw, at least—here on a roof in Cambridge” (272). He believes this traumatizing event explains what led Alicia to ultimately kill Gabriel.
Following the conclusion of Alicia’s diary, Theo rapidly starts putting together pieces of the puzzle—the puzzle explaining Alicia’s murder of Gabriel and her subsequent silence. The pivotal piece comes from Paul’s revelation. While Paul believes “It’s probably nothing, but—it might help you understand Alicia […]” (268), Theo—with his psychoanalyst knowledge—knows that Vernon’s comment would have been a major trauma to Alicia as a child. Theo identifies this as Alicia’s psychological death, a transformative childhood moment that resulted in her hatred of her father and in her subsequently being capable of murdering a man—Gabriel.
The theme of betrayal comes to a head with this revelation. A child implicitly trusts his or her father and mother as sources of protection. Both of Alicia’s parents betrayed her. Her mother abandoned her and may have even intended to kill her. Her father psychologically abandoned her, wishing her dead. The narrative thus far depicted various types of betrayal; Alicia’s decision to switch galleries suggests a betrayal in terms of business and/or friendship, for example. The narrative ultimately makes it clear, however, that betrayal stings the sharpest when love is involved—as in Eva and Vernon’s betrayal of the unconditional love of a parent.
The theme of betrayal in regard to romantic love is likewise coming to a head, as depicted in the ongoing subplot of Kathy’s affair. Theo, continuing to spiral, is full of hatred and set on revenge: “I thought of my father—I knew what he’d do in this situation. He’d murder the guy. Be a man, I could hear my father shouting. Toughen up. Was that what I should do? Kill him?” (257). Just as Alicia was seemingly unable to shed her childhood trauma, Theo likewise seems on the brink, unable to disassociate himself from his traumatic upbringing at the hands of a violent father. Theo prides himself on “escaping” his past and his parents, but he seems at risk of mirroring the behavior of his violent father.
Paul’s revelation about Alicia’s childhood trauma also gives new meaning to the symbol of Alcestis and seemingly explains why this story resonated with Alicia. Theo explains that,
Just as Admetus had physically condemned Alcestis to die, so had Vernon Rose psychically condemned his daughter to death. Admetus must have loved Alcestis, on some level; but there was no love I Vernon Rose, just hate (273).
Theo describes Vernon’s words as “an act of psychic infanticide” and explains, from a psychoanalytical standpoint, how this fleeting incident could links to Gabriel’s murder:
Imagine it—hearing your father, the very person you depend upon for your survival, wishing you dead. How terrifying that must be for a child, how traumatizing […] Over time you would lose contact with the origins of your trauma, dissociate the roots of its cause, and forget. But one day, all the hurt and anger would burst forth, like fire from a dragon’s belly […] (273).
By Alex Michaelides