The Songbird and the Heart of Stone

“She was, in their eyes, not the type who was worthy of salvation.”

This passage from the Prologue foreshadows Mische false belief that she is not worthy of salvation, or redemption. By the time the novel opens, Mische has been struggling with this belief for decades, introducing the theme of Self-Destruction in Pursuit of Redemption.

“Even he could not describe what he found so charming about the child, but what did it matter? She would be another chosen one to add to his collection, happy to receive his attention when it suited him and easy to put aside when it didn’t. She would follow him until the end of it all, just as all the others had.”

This passage introduces The Dangers of Unquestioning Loyalty. Atroxus clearly does not care much for his devoted acolytes, even those on whom he supposedly bestows his affections. Therefore, placing unquestioning faith and loyalty into the sun god, believing he will care enough to protect them, poses a risk to every acolyte.

“I was a passable fighter. Good enough to get by. But I was a chosen one of Atroxus. That was greater than any blessed sword.”

This passage implies that Mische has never bothered to learn much about self-defense. She instead places all her faith in Atroxus to protect her. The phrase “chosen one” emphasizes the one-sided quality of her relationship to Atroxus, in which she cedes all agency to him: He chooses, while she only hopes to be chosen.

“Mische Iliae was human. Mische Iliae was one of the most revered acolytes of the Order of the Destined Dawn. And Mische Iliae had a sister who shared that same surname. That name didn’t sit right on my shoulders anymore.”

Mische feels a sense of alienation from who she once was, especially as she navigates the changes in her life since being turned into a vampire. The birth name that once symbolized her revered position within the Order of the Destined Dawn no longer feels like a rightful part of her; her transformation has not only altered her physically but also severed her connection to her former self.

“Farther up, my phoenix tattoo stared back at me, its face warped and bright feathers dull beneath scar tissue. I’d been so proud the day I’d gotten that mark. I could still remember just how lovely it had looked over smooth, untouched skin. When I’d prayed at sundown that day, Atroxus had come to me easily, and he’d smiled with such amusement when I’d shown him my new gift in his honor.”

The phoenix tattoo, once a symbol of pride and divine favor, now serves as a constant reminder of Mische’s fractured identity. The scar tissue that has marred the tattoo symbolizes the damage caused by her unrelenting loyalty to Atroxus, whose once-easy connection to her is now tainted by her turning. The nostalgia Mische feels for the “smooth, untouched skin” and the joy she once felt in Atroxus’s approval contrast sharply with the painful reality of the present, where the tattoo represents both a broken promise and the emotional scars she carries.

“I sent you to Obitraes to be the force of that revelation I sensed upon you […] You brought your fellow acolytes with you to help you fulfill it. Your mission is not yet over. Your entire life has led to this. The lives of your parents and grandparents. The lives of your ancestors. Do you not want your redemption?”

This quote from Atroxus places excessive pressure on Mische to accept Self-Destruction in Pursuit of Redemption. His question about redemption implies that Mische’s sense of self-worth and salvation can only come from obedience and unwavering loyalty to him, framing her personal struggle as a conflict between her own desires for freedom and the ancient, almost divine, duty she feels bound to.

“The vampires of the House of Shadow could manipulate the darkness, obscure the truth, look into minds. They could spin illusions and bend you to their will. It was the magic of deceit and secrets. Not healing.”

This passage highlights the prejudices against Shadowborn magic that Mische has learned while serving Atroxus. As such, it relies on negative symbolic associations with the concept of darkness: Darkness symbolizes deceit and manipulation. Later in the novel, through her relationship with Asar, Mische learns that darkness can also symbolize freedom, poetry, music, and pleasure—that it, too, can be a form of healing.

“Whatever magic I have from—from him, prince or not, I don’t want it […] I wield the magic of Atroxus. Not Nyaxia. I have my faith, and I have the love of my god. That’s all I need.”

Mische maintains a resolute rejection of the darker magic associated with Nyaxia, which she sees as corrupting. By distancing herself from Nyaxia’s power, Mische reaffirms her loyalty to Atroxus. Her assertion that Atroxus’s love is “all she needs” represents a denial of her personal desires. At this stage, her faith is the foundation of her identity. Her character arc over the course of the novel will involve learning to find value in herself, independent of Atroxus’s approval.

“Of course he had worshipped me. I had been the chosen one. He’d loved me with all the innocent infatuation of a teenage crush, and I’d led him right to his death.”

Though Mische’s childhood friend Eomin died in service of Atroxus, she blames herself for the death. Her unfounded belief evidences her shame and self-hatred since being turned. She fails, however, to see Atroxus’s failures as his own. Instead, she sees his failures of her loved ones as her own.

“‘We all have ghosts in our pasts, Iliae. We can’t give them the power to define our futures, too.’ It was an uncomfortable reversal, for someone else to offer me the comforts I was so accustomed to doling out.”

Asar and Mische bond over having metaphorical and literal ghosts in their pasts that plague them in present day. They both share regret and trauma, which ties into the novel’s broader themes of redemption. The second part of the quote reflects a key message in both Mische and Asar’s arcs: the importance of not letting past mistakes or guilt dictate their paths ahead.

“He lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. His hand pressed to the wall as he swept his gaze down Morthryn’s halls. I had never once seen Asar pray. And yet, I recognized the look on his face immediately—reverence. ‘It’s a powerful gift,’ he said softly. ‘To right a wrong.’ I heard the echo of Atroxus’s offering to me: Do you not want your redemption?”

This moment reveals to Mische that Asar, too, seeks redemption for his own failures. This connection brings the two closer together, as they bond over their shared mission—both the physical one and the emotional one.

“They followed me when sleep finally took me. I dreamed of Asar’s hands, skillful, artful, thorough. I dreamed of how they might feel on my breasts and throat and inner thighs. I dreamed of his breath on my mouth and a kiss that tasted like damnation. But in the distance, I heard the call of Atroxus. I reached out, and the sun pulled me away. He was dim, far away, calling to me from far beyond the veil between the mortal and immortal worlds.”

Mische’s dreams represent her inner conflict—the tension between her desires and her loyalty to Atroxus. Her dreams of Asar reflect her growing attraction and emotional struggle, as she wrestles with feelings that seem to contradict her role as a servant of Atroxus. The call of Atroxus in the distance symbolizes her internal disconnect with her sacred calling, suggesting a looming decision that will require her to reconcile or choose between these two competing paths in her life.

“She had given her life to spreading the light. She had reached out to countless broken souls. She’d seen time and time again that no matter how dark a person’s past, a little flicker of light still shone in every single heart. Could that not be true, too, for vampires?”

This quote reveals Mische’s deep-rooted belief in the redemptive power of light and compassion. Her work with the broken souls reflects her optimism and faith in the inherent goodness within others, which she even applies to vampires, a group typically seen as lost or irredeemable. This thought challenges her previously unwavering loyalty to Atroxus, who represents absolute purity and light. As with darkness, there is a duality to the symbolism of light in the novel: Light serves as a metaphor for goodness and compassion, but also for surveillance, moral absolutism, and an obsession with purity that borders on fascism.

“A firefinch let out a shrill chirp, startling me. It perched on the statue of Atroxus’s visage. Its feathers were more brilliant than the sunrise, its song lighter than the breeze. But something was wrong. Its brilliance was too bright, too sharp. Its song was an octave too low, like a funeral hymn.”

This passage uses the firefinch as a symbol of Mische’s inner conflict and her distorted relationship with Atroxus. The bird is “too bright” and “too sharp,” making it deeply unsettling and hinting at the idea that the relationship she has with Atroxus is not as pure as she once believed. Its song resembles a funeral hymn, signaling her growing awareness that her loyalty may come at a dangerous, even fatal, cost.

“I took Asar’s power, and I threw open that dark door in my heart. I didn’t have time to second-guess. I grabbed the reflection’s face as she grabbed mine, both of us cradling each other. Instead of calling to the sun with my joy, I called to it with my anger. Instead of attempting to control the light, I set it ablaze with my fury.”

Mische embraces the darker aspects of her power in this passage. The imagery of throwing open a dark door in her heart suggests a release of pent-up emotions, particularly anger, that had been suppressed. Rather than calling to Atroxus’s magic with joy, she calls to it with anger, suggesting her emotional transformation. Rather than viewing his favor, and his abilities, as things to be reclaimed, she views her vows to him as a frustrating cage, reflected in the symbolism of caged birds throughout the novel.

“My hand plunged into the hole in her chest. Closed around the core of her power, now drenched in inky shadow. Tainted, I thought, and I even smiled when she burst apart into blackened shreds.”

The imagery of Mische’s hand “plunging into the hole in her chest” and grasping the “core of her power” represents her taking control of the “darker” Shadowborn magic within her for the first time, rather than Atroxus’s light. The satisfaction Mische initially feels after using that dark power with ease hints at her further “corruption,” which she will later feel shame for. Though she views it as corruption now, it is simply evidence of her choosing a path for her future that strays away from servitude to Atroxus.

“The thought dizzied me. It was so brazenly wrong. My hunger was twisting my thoughts. Making it hard to think. I was a bride of the sun. But maybe I was weak, because I just kept pushing, drinking up another second.”

This quote captures Mische’s internal struggle between her loyalty to Atroxus and the burgeoning, forbidden attraction she feels for Asar. The metaphor of “hunger” symbolizes the temptation she feels to betray her vows, not just physically but emotionally, as her desire for Asar conflicts with her identity as a “bride of the sun.” The phrase “maybe I was weak” highlights Mische’s sense of guilt and self-doubt, reinforcing the tension between her spiritual devotion and her growing feelings.

“I’ll tell you what you’ll have if you lose the sun, Mische. You’ll have a soul gentler than any vampire’s I’ve ever known. You’ll have an incredible magic and the skill to wield it better than the bastard who gave it to you. You’ll have a soft heart and a sharp wit and the wisdom to know when to use one or the other. You’ll have countless inane questions and horrible taste in food and a penchant for making lost souls love you.”

In this quote, Asar offers Mische a vision of what she could be without Atroxus, painting a picture of her potential beyond the constraints of her faith. His words contrast the cold, harsh existence she faces as a vampire bound to a god who does not truly care for her, with the warmth and freedom that could come from embracing herself.

“I was so sick of wanting. This isn’t what love should feel like. ‘Show me what it should feel like,’ I whispered.”

This quote reflects Mische’s internal conflict and growing realization of The Importance of Reciprocity in Love. Her whispered plea to Asar, “Show me what it should feel like,” represents a turning point in her character arc, where she begins to search for a healthier, more fulfilling love—a love that is mutual and not based on sacrifice or conditionality.

“Does one memorize the name of every exotic fish in a tank? Every golden bird in their cage?”

This passage highlights Mische’s growing disillusionment with the nature of her relationship with Atroxus, alluding to the firefinches who have appeared in cages throughout her journey through the Descent as a metaphor for Mische’s own status as a favored possession of Atroxus. It questions the value of devotion to something that does not truly recognize or appreciate the individual, placing into question why Atroxus deserves such loyalty from her if he cannot bother to even remember her sister’s name. The line speaks to Mische’s internal struggle to differentiate between unquestioning loyalty and a more meaningful, reciprocal relationship.

“I wanted to fall to my knees, beg for his forgiveness, lay my undying loyalty at his feet. But instead, I remained standing. Through my tears, I chanced a demand.”

This quote reflects Mische’s internal conflict between her deep-seated loyalty to Atroxus and the growing realization that her devotion is not reciprocated. The image of her wanting to fall to her knees symbolizes the traditional power dynamics of their relationship, where she seeks redemption and approval from him. However, the shift to standing and making a demand instead marks a pivotal moment in her character arc, signaling her refusal to continue passively submitting to Atroxus’s control and her desire to take ownership of her own fate.

“My Shadowborn magic felt wrong in all the ways it felt right. Every time I let it slide under my skin, I heard Atroxus’s voice—damning me, and worse, damning Asar.”

All this time, Mische has been feigning disgust with her Shadowborn magic and denying it in favor of Atroxus’s, so as not to anger the sun god further. However, as the novel comes to an end, Mische’s growth becomes clearer. She has begun to accept that Shadowborn magic is a natural part of her now; however, using it when Atroxus is still invested in her mission poses a threat not just to her, but to Asar as well.

“I reached down, and the bird ignited, golden feathers twisting into flames. It leapt up into the sky, burning against the velvet night. I smiled up at it, touching an old tattoo on my arm. It was a phoenix after all, just as I thought.”

This passage continues the bird metaphors Carissa Broadbent uses throughout the novel. This latest metaphor applies to Mische’s transformation, symbolizing her “rebirth.” Through the journey she’s taken with Asar, she’s officially let go of the restraints of her old life and embraced a different future.