This Book is Gay

An asexual person is somebody who either experiences no sexual attraction, little sexual attraction, or sexual attraction under very specific circumstances. An asexual person can still pursue romantic partners without seeking sex. Asexual people can still have sex drives and sexual fantasies. The asexual spectrum includes sex-repulsed asexual people (who get no pleasure from sex), grey asexual people (people who experience sexual attraction only with a significant romantic or emotional investment in a person), and many other subidentities. A person who is asexual may still refer to themselves as gay, lesbian, or so forth based on their romantic desires.

This is the gender marker that appears on one’s birth certificate, usually determined by an examination of an infant’s genitals by a medical professional when the child is born. This usually determines the gender, social roles, and expectations one is raised with. The term is usually used as AFAB or AMAB when discussing one of the two possibilities assigned to children, meaning Assigned Female at Birth and Assigned Male at Birth. These two possibilities do not account for intersex people, gender expression, or pubescent development. As such, AGAB only determines what genitals an infant seems to have and, usually, the kind of puberty a child may experience.

A bisexual person is somebody who is attracted to two or more genders. Bisexuality is often over-simplified as an attraction to men and women, which excludes nonbinary people. A person who is bisexual may be attracted to masculine-presenting people in general, which would include men and several nonbinary genders such as demi-men (nonbinary people who identify somewhat with manhood). Bisexuality is also often incorrectly grouped with pansexuality. While similar, pansexuality is when gender does not play a significant role in the presence of attraction.

To be cisgender is to be comfortable in one’s AGAB. Often abbreviated as “cis,” being cisgender does not preclude being gender nonconforming. One can be gender nonconforming but still feel comfortable living in, identifying with, and being labeled as their assigned gender. The term is used as the opposite of “transgender.”

Drag is a performance of extremely exaggerated gender, often for entertainment. Drag typically relies on the amplification of cisgender ideals of men and women. Hence, drag performers are usually called drag kings or drag queens. These titles are based on whether one is exaggerating masculinity (drag kings) or femininity (drag queens). The type of drag one does is not necessarily connected to the drag performer’s gender.

Historically, drag has been a haven for transgender people. Before transgender people could openly express and experiment with their gender presentation, drag was used as a pretense to cover up one’s experimentation. Thus, a transgender person could present an exaggerated persona of their actual gender in public as a drag performer. Drag is not exclusively practiced by transgender people, nor does it “make” somebody transgender.

Gay has multiple meanings in the LGBTQ+ community. The textbook definition is a gay man: The G in the acronym stands for gay men. By this definition, only men who love men can be called gay.

In a wider sense, “gay” is often used to refer to any LGBTQ+ person. Transgender people, lesbians, pansexual folks, etc. might all call themselves gay. This use is rooted in the reclamation of the word gay, which was and is used as an insult thrown at anybody that does not seem to be cisgender and heterosexual. This is similar to the way “queer” was used as an insult and has been reclaimed by queer theorists and the LGBTQ+ community. As a result, gay is sometimes synonymous with queer and the whole LGBTQ+ community. Juno Dawson uses both definitions of gay in This Book Is Gay. The usage in the title gestures toward the larger LGBTQ+ community.

To be genderqueer is to have a gender that falls outside of the gender binary of man and woman. This term is often synonymous with the term “nonbinary.” Genderqueer people feel like they may be fluid between man and woman, have qualities of both, or be something else entirely. Some genderqueer people feel as if they don’t have a gender in the first place. Genderqueer and nonbinary are broad umbrella terms, often placed in the broader transgender category to denote gender identities and presentations that don’t fit within the AGAB binary.

Intersectionality is the idea that each one of our identities (race, sexuality, gender, socioeconomic status, etc.) “intersect” with each other. Who we are as unique individuals is situated where these individual identities intersect.

Dawson explains this as a squid with many tentacles or a harp with many strings. These metaphors explain that the multiple individual parts that make up a squid (its tentacles) or a harp (its strings) are like our identities in intersectional theory.

Intersectionality in the LGBTQ+ community is used to explain the unique challenges individuals face. A white transgender lesbian’s experience differs from a cisgender lesbian of color’s, for example.

An intersex condition causes a person’s body to develop in ways that are not considered typical for XX and XY chromosome pairings. Some intersex conditions result from atypical chromosomal pairings, like XXY or XXX, while others result from atypical levels of sex hormones (primarily testosterone and estrogen). Not all intersex conditions cause visible differences; for example, some people have one ovary and one internal testis. The terms AMAB and AFAB come from the intersex community as a way of discussing the inaccurate binary boxes they were put in as infants.

A lesbian is a gay woman specifically, though more broadly, it might mean anybody who does not center men in their sexual or romantic life. For example, there are nonbinary people attracted to women who might consider themselves lesbians because they do not consider men as potential romantic or sexual partners.

LGBT* is one of many forms of the acronym used for the LGBTQ+ community. The asterisk in Dawson’s acronym is a placeholder similar to the plus sign in LGBTQ+. The asterisk/plus sign represents all of the other identities that are part of the community yet were either not discussed or erased when the acronym was first coined in the 1990s.

“Queer” is an umbrella term for the entire LGBTQ+ community. It is an intentionally vague term that encapsulates all LGBTQ+ identities without putting strict lines between them. It is a reclaimed slur and, as such, should be used with caution.

To be transgender is to identify with any gender other than one’s assigned gender at birth. This often, but not always, brings various forms of gender dysphoria because of the roles, expectations, and social customs built up around the gender one is expected to be from birth. Transgender people may or may not seek medical treatment to alleviate gender dysphoria but often undergo some kind of social transition to align their outward expression with their inward identity.

Dawson groups many things under the transgender umbrella that were and are typically not associated with transgender people. The terms “transvestite” and “cross-dresser,” for example, are considered offensive by many transgender people and often denote a person who is cisgender but enjoys clothing not associated with their assigned gender at birth.