To All the Boys I've Loved Before

Fiction | Novel | YA

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Symbols & Motifs

Letters

The significance of written letters is evident in the title itself. Lara Jean’s habit of writing letters is a private secret way of expressing feelings she can’t say out loud. The letters are her way of navigating complicated feelings, and they are a source of comfort to her when she looks back at the boys she has loved before and the person she was when she had those feelings. Thus, the letters also act as a sequence of growth for Lara Jean, a way she can trace how she has learned to appreciate other people. The letters reveal a lot about her feelings for others, but they actually reveal more about Lara Jean. Letters are a motif because they are a symbolic and consistent representation of Lara Jean’s projections. In part, the letters are Lara Jean’s projection of her inner desire to be more outgoing and to try to seize what she wants. The letters represent that courageous step Lara Jean needs to take in order to get the kind of life she truly wants.

The motif comes around full circle when Lara Jean realizes that Peter truly does love her because of the sheer number and earnest content of the notes he writes to her daily. Their relationship starts with a letter and is ultimately solidified by letters. This motif is romantic given the contemporary teenager’s reliance on technology. Handwritten letters, once the only way to communicate with loved ones, feels more serious and meaningful than a text. This symbol heightens the seriousness of Lara Jean and Peter’s feelings.

Cooking/Baking

Throughout the novel, the Covey family relies on cooking as one of their expressions of love, appreciation, regret, and commitment. When their father wants to help the girls feel more connected to their dead mother, he cooks Korean food. Korean food is hardly a substitute for their mother, but it is a way for the girls to keep the memory of their mother and their heritage alive. It is also a way for their father to demonstrate how deeply he cares that they learn about their Korean culture. When Margot leaves for Scotland, one of Lara Jean’s new responsibilities is organizing dinners. When Lara Jean is successful in providing food to her family, such as when she makes Kitty’s favorite lunch for the first day of school, she is proud. When Lara Jean messes up dinner, she internalizes it as evidence that she is not up to Margot’s standards. Lara Jean often uses baking as a calming technique, something to do when she is stressed or when she needs to apologize to her sister. For the Covey family, it’s more than just food: cooking and baking is a symbolic way of showing their genuine appreciation for one another.

Sisterhood

Sisterhood, both literal and metaphorical, is a motif that is crucial to Lara Jean’s identity. Her perception of herself is that of the middle sister. As such, she puts a lot of pressure on herself to try to emulate Margot even though they’re so different. She constantly compares herself to Margot and believes that she is not the sister she should be to Kitty because she can’t measure up to Margot. Each of the Song sisters are different in some ways, but they’re all connected by their friendship and desire to make life easy for their devoted father. They look out for one another and care deeply about how they’re all doing. This commitment to sisterhood is complicated by Lara Jean’s lies—and also Kitty’s. The sisters are, after all, humans with their own goals and secrets. Sisterhood as a motif is explored when the girls find themselves having to forge their own independent identities while maintaining the tight-knit literal sisterhood that informs their family dynamic.