Waiting to Exhale

Bernadine Harris is in the kitchen with her husband John when he casually tells her that he wants a divorce. He says he wants to marry his mistress, Kathleen, a white woman who works as a bookkeeper for his software business. Bernadine feels as though she is drowning. It’s not that she didn’t know the marriage was over: They hadn’t been happy for several years. However, as Bernadine acknowledges the indifference on John’s face, she begins to recall how she allowed him to dictate every aspect of their lives, including when they would have children, whether Bernadine would work, and when she could start the catering company she has always dreamed of having. It was never the right time for Bernadine’s business, but she worked for years to help John start his. Bernadine eventually gave up on John ever supporting her dream, so she took a job as controller for a real estate management company and put away money in secret to do it on her own.

John tells Bernadine she can keep the house—a house she doesn’t really like—and that he’s taking the condo. Unbeknownst to her, John has hidden most of his assets and sold his share in the software company to make it appear that his income is much less than it is. Despite this, he promises to support the children. John leaves, and Bernadine stares at herself in the mirror, wondering if anyone will ever want her again. She takes double the dose of her Xanax and goes to the convenience store for a pack of cigarettes, even though she stopped smoking more than three months prior.

Robin Stokes reflects back on the last two years of her life, which were dedicated to a relationship with a man named Russell. She thought she could convince Russell to marry her, but he continuously refused even though he swore he loved her. He claimed commitment frightened him. Robin, however, wants to marry and have children, but worries she’s getting too old. At the time Robin met Russell, he was living with another woman who left without explanation. Robin moved him in with her, fixed his car insurance problems when he got into an accident after his insurance was cancelled, and co-signed for him to get a new car. Robin later found evidence that Russell was cheating on her, and then she began getting phone calls from an unknown woman who told her that Russell made a habit of living off women. She tells Robin several stories, including the fact that the woman he was previously living with didn’t leave him, but moved out when her lease was up. Robin finally kicked Russell out after someone vandalized her car. Robin fell into a depression after Russell and spent too much money shopping. Later, she heard rumors that he was living with a woman named Carolyn who was pregnant with his baby. He not only denied this rumor but swore he would marry Robin once his finances were under control.

Robin doesn’t feel like there are a lot of eligible men who fit her requirements. She wants a good-looking man who is good in bed and open to commitment. She has consulted an astrologist and knows which signs are compatible with her own, but she can’t always be that particular. She begins dating Michael, a twice-divorced coworker. She isn’t physically attracted to Michael because he is overweight, but she likes how considerate he is. Robin invites Michael over for dinner and imagines what it might be like to get married. She wants a husband who will allow her to stay at home with their children and thinks Michael might fit that bill. They enjoy a meal, then kiss on the couch. Robin isn’t aroused by his soft body but takes him into the bedroom anyway. Their intimacy leaves Robin unsatisfied, but she decides a man can be taught to properly arouse a woman and begins the lessons that night.

Gloria Matthews owns her own hair salon, Oasis Hair, and is raising her 16-year-old son, Tarik, on her own. This morning, she argues with Tarik over his slipping grades and reminds him that his father, David, is coming to town that day. Tarik expresses a lack of desire to see a father who pops in and out of his life once or twice a year and is angry that David spent the night at their house the last time he was in town. Gloria is embarrassed by this last part, but she’d been alone for so long that she begged David to spend the night. Gloria never had a relationship with David but spent one drunken night with him in college and doesn’t even remember being intimate with him. When she learned she was pregnant, her Catholic ideals wouldn’t allow her to have an abortion. She told David she was having the child but that David didn’t have to be part of their lives. Pressure from his parents pushed him into seeing Tarik on occasion, but he was never a real part of their lives.

Gloria settled near her parents and got her cosmetology license after failing to find work in theater. When Tarik was a toddler, both her parents died within a month of each other, and Tarik developed asthma, so she moved to Phoenix and opened Oasis Hair with the money she got from her parents’ estate. Over the years, she was open to finding new love, but when it didn’t come, she put her energy into the business, Tarik, and her love for food. Gloria is now 60 pounds overweight and experiencing high blood pressure.

At Oasis, Gloria learns that Joseph, one of her hairdressers, found Bernadine in a sedated state in the parking lot of a convenience store that past Sunday and took her home to discover she had left her children unattended. He also learned that John, Bernadine’s husband, had asked for a divorce so that he could marry his white mistress. Joseph stayed with Bernadine until the Xanax wore off.

Bernadine is one of Gloria’s clients and a good friend. Gloria tries to call Bernadine but doesn’t get an answer. She calls Robin to tell her what’s happening and gets her voice machine, too. When Gloria gets home, she makes dinner while talking to Robin and waiting for Tarik to get home. Tarik calls and tells Gloria he doesn’t want to see David and asks to spend the night with a friend. Gloria reluctantly gives him permission. David arrives and is annoyed that Tarik isn’t there. David tells Gloria that he will no longer be reaching out to Tarik but will wait for Tarik to reach out to him. David continues by telling Gloria that he will not be intimate with her anymore because he is gay.

Bernadine drives her children to her mother’s, telling her mother that she and John are going to Sedona, Arizona, and won’t be back until the weekend. Bernadine doesn’t tell her mother or the kids about the impending divorce. When Bernadine returns to the house, she is restless. She begins crying and wanders the house, noticing how perfect it is and how everything is exactly to John’s liking. She begins dragging John’s clothes out of the closet and piles them in the back seat of her BMW, the car she never wanted but John insisted she have. Then she empties out his drawers and gathers up all his shoes. Bernadine adds them to the pile and squirts lighter fluid on the whole thing. Bernadine sets the clothing inside the car on fire and walks back into the house. Bernadine is napping on the couch when a fireman knocks on the door and asks about the fire. He tells her insurance won’t cover the damage and that, out of respect for her neighbors, she shouldn’t do it again.

Bernadine spends the next four days locked up in the house, mostly reading and playing her son’s Nintendo. On the fifth day, she arranges to have the BMW towed away, showers, and makes herself eat a large breakfast. Bernadine cleans the house and listens to her messages on the answering machine, learning that Robin has met a new man. Gloria leaves a message reminding her about a luncheon for their group, Black Women on the Move. Bernadine calls her mother and assures her she’s on her way to pick up the children. The following day, Bernadine has a garage sale, during which she sells all of John’s remaining belongings for $1 each, including the classic Ford he’s been restoring. Bernadine gives the money she earns to her children.

Gloria has a restless night and goes to church alone. When she gets home, she makes lunch for herself and Tarik. She learns that Tarik did not spend the night at the friend’s home she thought he did and discovers he made out with a girl. When she asks who the girl is, she is surprised to learn it is an older white girl from their neighborhood. Gloria learns that Tarik has been having sex, and she wonders if that is why his grades have been dropping. Gloria suffers a bout of indigestion as Tarik goes on to tell her he has slept with nine girls. Gloria makes him promise to always use a condom. Talking to Tarik makes Gloria feel lonelier than before.