Within Arm's Reach

“When Lila becomes angry, all logic, rationality, kindness, and volume control are lost.”

This quote shows Lila’s horrible temper and difficulty with patience. Gracie’s description of Lila’s anger foreshadows the reveal that she does not have the passion for medicine, not having the temperament and hospitality necessary to be a good doctor or nurse. She also establishes the contrast between the more aggressive Kelly and Lila and the easier-going Gracie and Louis.

“I’m not sure any child really wants to know their parent, or vice versa. Maybe that knowledge and that truth are too much.”

Catharine realizes that if she wants to bring her family together, she needs an event where she can talk to them as a collective. She wonders if the reason Kelly is not receptive to her subtle attempts to imply the family needs to be closer is because parents and children are comfortable knowing each other too much. However, she still wants to try to bring her family together, even the strategies she uses are not ones she is not used to, supporting emotional expression and communication within families.

“Both mother and daughter like all conversations to go their way, with their topics, their themes, and their desired results. They are displeased when someone else takes control. I’m not quite sure what Lila was hoping for from me this morning, but it is clear that I didn’t provide it.”

Catharine establishes a parallel between Kelly and Lila in how they want to dominate and direct their conversations. It also shows how Lila has inherited many traits from Kelly, including her temper, her excellent memory, and her need to control situations. It also shows that Catharine senses Lila’s lack of understanding of Catharine’s machinations to give Gracie more support.

“I had feared I would not live to see a great-grandchild, and having four generations of McLaughlins in the world at one time is a lovely thought.”

Catharine is disappointed in Gracie’s pregnancy due to her strong Catholic beliefs. However, she is excited that she might be able to meet her first great-grandchild before she dies and is willing to do anything to welcome the child into the world. She also believes that a small part of her seeks healing from the loss of her daughter and twins by helping Gracie bring a new McLaughlin baby into the world.

“I honestly don’t know what changed. My family still scares me.”

Gracie worries about her family’s judgment of her pregnancy because of their Catholic views. However, she has decided to keep her baby and is determined to be a mother to the child, regardless of what the family wants. This foreshadows her standing by her decision even with Meggy’s pressure to give her child up, showing that she has changed more than she thought.

“My first memory is of the day my sister died.

I know that child psychologists would say this isn’t possible, since I was only eighteen months old at the time. They say the brain isn’t developed enough to hold on to images until a child is closer to three years of age. But, in my case at least, they are wrong.”

The quote establishes that Kelly has a special trait similar to the McLaughlin second sight. In this case, she has a memory that defies science and gives her some experience and insight into the day her sister died. It also shows where Lila’s photographic memory emerged, another trait she inherited from Kelly.

“I simply savor the fact that I am alone, perfectly alone. I don’t have to pretend to be interested or sorry or content or whatever else my family or my employees might want me to be. Here, and only here, can I explore and expose my true self.”

Kelly uses her motel room as a place where she separate herself from her family and be defined by herself, rather than those around her. This supports her motel room as a symbol and motif for The Role of Tradition and Change in Personal Development. She is finally learning to put herself first after being the oldest daughter in a Catholic household and focusing on her family above everything.

“My mother, Uncle Pat, Aunt Meggy, Aunt Theresa, Uncle Johnny, and even Uncle Ryan tell of a vibrant childhood and adolescence when life was lived right down to the bone.”

Lila and the other McLaughlin grandchildren are surprised to hear the McLaughlin children opening up about their childhoods, showing emotional expression and communication within families. This brief, excited moment of candor is a positive experience for the family that shows they can open up to each other more, supporting Shifting Family and Generational Dynamics. Catharine’s plan works well here, but is challenged when they receive the news of Gracie’s pregnancy poorly.

“I can’t bear to see any more children in this family hurt.”

The quote supports the role of tradition and change in personal development by showing Catharine rejecting the focus on the family’s image to help her children avoid more suffering and trauma. Though she disapproves of Gracie’s pregnancy, she does not want to hurt her or her child by separating them from each other. After seeing her children hurt, especially Pat, she wants to do better.

“I woke up the morning after Easter changed, and changing.”

The aftermath of the Easter party sends Lila into a tailspin that makes her rethink her life. She starts a sexual relationship with Weber, but soon finds she enjoys his company. She also begins questioning whether she wants to continue medicine despite it not being a passion of hers and she is impatient in her handling of her patients. It also foreshadows the permanent changes she will make by dropping out of medical school and pursuing a relationship with Weber.

“My children used to crawl and play and watch television from this rug, but I never had time to sit down with them.”

Catharine notices her mother’s rug after her fall and thinks about how she never played with her children on the rug despite her children playing with her grandchildren. This shows the rug as a motif for shifting family and generational dynamics and how parenting, while still somewhat focused on discipline, has become for about parents enjoying time with their children. The rug is also established as a symbol of her ties to her family and her children’s youth that she did not have time to enjoy.

“During my time, parents were the disciplinarians.”

Catharine explains that when her children were young, parents’ jobs were to prepare children for the world and make sure they are strong and skilled enough to survive. She likes that things have changed for her children’s generation, who are now engaging more emotionally with their children. She regrets not doing this with her own children, believing this could have helped them. This quote, thus, supports shifting family and generational dynamics and emotional expression and communication within families.

“I just wanted life to be just normal and hard in our house.”

Catharine blames herself for, and still grieves over, the deaths of her daughter and her twins. She notes that life was difficult at the best of times, but she accepted this. However, the terrible tragedies were devastating for her, and she wishes she had not endured them. Her mother later criticizes her for not understanding that loss comes with love.

“I had failed at holding my family together. I should have fought for Pat.”

Catharine thinks about the regrets she has. She believes that she has let her family down by not being more focused on them emotionally and being too focused on doing what she was supposed to. She also regrets excusing Patrick’s abuse of Pat and not standing up for him against Patrick. This establishes the role of tradition and change in personal development, as she embraces change and questions the way she was expected to be as a wife and mother in the 1950s and 1960s.

“You care too much about what other people think.”

Lila tells Gracie that she is too conscious of people’s thoughts, but Gracie notes how hypocritical she is, with her keeping her relationship with Weber a secret. This quote also shows how similar the sisters are in their concerns over image, growing up in the McLaughlin family. It also shows that Gracie has worries about Grayson and her place at The Bergen Record, knowing that he has been more critical of her writing lately and has been rewriting her columns in his edits.

“I deserve this. I deserve to be alone with this.”

Gracie feels guilt over getting herself pregnant, and Meggy and Kelly’s statements toward her make her feel like she has brought the pregnancy on herself by having sex outside of marriage. She, thus, feels like she deserves to raise the child alone with no help. However, Grayson does not believe this and tells her he loves her, at least enough to want her to succeed and prosper.

“Don’t you think it’s important for your baby to have a mother who knows herself?”

Grayson poses this question to Gracie to convince her that he knows the person that she is and he will let her know her worth when they are a couple. Being quite self-conscious and filled with guilt and doubt, Gracie wants to know herself better and finally accept herself. For this reason, she accepts his proposal and agrees to marry him.

“I want to search for what makes me happy and then work hard.”

Lila had decided to go back to medical school, but following the apartment fire, she sees Weber’s passion for fighting fires and saving people. She wants that same passion from her job and knows that medicine, though interesting to her, does not give her that excitement and joy. This, thus, drives her to drop out of medical school and seek another profession.

“This experience is unlike anything I’ve ever felt, and I deserve it.”

Kelly’s new focus on her own desires has led her to have an affair with Vince, and she justifies her actions by saying she deserves to be happy and satisfied. She also wants to believe that her feelings for Vince are right, despite them going against what she was taught. However, she feels guilt for being unfaithful to her husband and knows deep down it is wrong and against her values.

“I have failed in too many moments with Gracie and Lila over too many years.”

Louis sees how his lack of communication with his daughters has helped lead to Gracie’s unplanned pregnancy and regrets not being more hands-on with them, highlighting emotional expression and communication within families. He imagines how he should have disciplined them more and made sure the family went to church regularly to ensure they held to their faith, supporting the role of tradition and change in personal development. However, he realizes he cannot change the past and wishes to do the best he can to help and support his family.

“I need to restart my life and try to experience it this time around.”

Upon dropping out of medical school, Lila is determined to focus on what she wants in life. She wants to live a life of passion and excitement, while working hard and supporting herself. She looks forward to the future and hopes that Weber will part of it.

“I hope, I wish, I think, that somehow these women—my grandmother, my mother, my sister, my cousin, my aunts—will be able to say to this boy what I have not.”

After Lila’s attempt to reconcile with Weber does not work the way she intended, he still is unsure of whether they should be together. She realizes that, while the family struggles with communicating their emotions, the other women are better at communicating their feelings somewhat than she is. For this reason, she hopes that they can help bring her and Weber back together at the baby shower.

“It occurs to me then that this is how I should have cried when I lost my baby girl, and again when I lost the twins.”

After Gracie sees the baby blanket and bursts into tears, Catharine thinks about how that display of emotion is so uncommon for McLaughlins. However, Gracie’s crying is cathartic for Catharine and she wishes she had been more emotionally open and let herself grieve freely. This supports emotional expression and communication within families by showing Gracie’s openness in this moment.